So let’s talk about preferences. We all have preferences right? Well, I sure hope you do. You, yourself, know what you generally need and are attracted to or become attached to, even though your family influences the choices you make, and your culture influences the people you are more likely to be around. 

According to the Merriam Webster dictionary, preferences is described as “… the act, fact, or principle of giving advantages to some over others.”

I think that it’s important to have preferences, especially when it comes to the people in your life. You need to have the ability to decide which relationships align with your life and which do not.

Companion preferences could include:

  • Feeling comfortable around the person
  • Agreeing with the lifestyle choices the other person makes, such as smoking weed or drinking alcohol
  • Height and weight – talks to romantic relationships
  • Specific job –  talks to both romantic and platonic relationships

The friendships that I have right now, I know add so much value to me as a person. They give me advice, are fun to be around, and I know I can certainly always call on them in an emergency. They push me in very positive ways. I’m quite shy at times and they help me get out of my little bubble and see what the world has to offer.

Don’t feel pressured into doing anything that you feel very uncomfortable doing though. And if you have a friend that you’ve known for years and that person has changed or even you have changed, it’s okay to let them go if they don’t add any value in your life, however painful this may initially be. 

Example of preference in action

A good example of asserting preferences would be on dating apps. Let’s use the dating app, Bumble, specifically. 

When you sign up you are asked a few questions, such as, what gender you’re looking for; age preferences; whether you want a serious relationship, or not so much. You can also add your height, your religion and your preference in this regard relating to a potential dating partner.

I think all these prompts are valid because if you’re looking for someone in your age range it eliminates all the unnecessary profiles that you aren’t interested in. 

Realistic preferences

Don’t confuse preferences with unrealistic options or being too picky, especially in relationships. Don’t eliminate a man because you don’t exactly like how he dresses; you don’t like the way he chews, or you don’t like his shoes. These reasons are all so superficial. However, when it comes to something like weight, I would definitely prefer someone that is relatively fit, tends to take care of his body, and generally eats healthily.

Final word

It’s okay to have preferences and to make certain choices based on these preferences. Remember, be true to yourself and what you stand for.

Take care,



Read more here on the truth about relationships.

Tell us: Do you agree that it’s okay to have preferences? Why, or why not?