On April 27th, Tina called again, said she got admitted to hospital. She was due to give birth. I said I would keep her in my prayers.

She called again after successfully delivering a baby boy. She named him Phakade. I congratulated her. I wanted to ask her why she kept updating me about that whole thing. I mean, she didn’t say I was the father and didn’t have to worry about the kid. But I just let it slid.

She went back to our village after she got discharged. My cousin Bongi was still there, she went to see the baby.

I found a bunch of missed calls from her. She even sent pictures of the baby on WhatsApp, accompanied by messages like;

You ever been to bed with Tina?

Ya should see how her baby look so much like you.

Why you never told me that she was pregnant?

I took my time and looked at the pictures. And man, that was just a copy of me. I didn’t know what to do next after looking at them. I didn’t like to be up on Tina’s ass, but I didn’t have no choice, I had to know what was happening.

I phoned her and cut her “hel…”

“Hi Tina, hope you good. I just need to ask you a few quick questions. Do you have a minute?”

“Questions ‘bout what?”

“About stuff. Like, why exactly did you break up with me?” I wet the ground for harder questions.

“You had no interest in me. And I wouldn’t call that a break up. It never even started,” there was annoyance in her voice.

“Oh ok. So who came after me?”

“Thokozani, and that’s none of your business though.”

“Is he the one that made you pregnant?”

“I thought I told you not to worry about my baby, Mdu.”

“OUR baby, Tina. And I want to be in his life as his father.”

“You’re not goi- no, you’re not his father. I don’t ever want us to talk about my Phakade again, ever,” she ended the call.

That was it, no more worrying about Tina and her son. She knew where to find me if she ever changed her mind.

It was difficult to process that whole thing though. I found myself checking on Tina’s WhatsApp every day for new profile pictures of her son and saved them on my phone.

The year ended and 2015 began. As I had applied to do the military course, they called and told me my application was a success. I made a passport and got ready to leave the country for Azania and start with the course.

It took the whole year of no communication with our families or friends in Azania. But finally we were back home on 2016. I missed the freedom of being at home.

***

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