Chris

I got home and no one was around. I went to my room and dug out my sketchbook. I hadn’t used it in a while. I only drew in my sketchbook when I was happy. It had been a long time. I began to sketch; a heart and in the heart, I outlined facial features.

I stepped away from my sketchbook, satisfied with my work. I had made a picture of Tyler surrounded by a heart. It was pretty good, but definitely could never suffice for the real thing. I closed the book and slid it under my pillow.

I Love You.

I texted Tyler. Just three simple words, but I had never said those three words to anyone before. I meant each word. Suddenly I heard the front door open and close. I walked out of my room to greet whoever had just come home.

My dad was in the kitchen, taking out a bottle of water from the fridge.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hey son,” he greeted back. He tossed the water bottle to me and smiled as I caught it with one hand.

“Want to watch some TV with me before your mom gets home?” he asked. With my father’s job, he was barely home, so we didn’t really get to hang out with each other as much.

We sat in front of the TV and I grabbed the remote.

“This show is the best!” I said, tuning to the History channel where Pawn Stars on.

My dad kept laughing at me as I commented angrily at the TV.

“Guys, I’m home!” my mother yelled from the door. I got up to greet her.

“Hey mom,” I hugged her before going back to the TV.

“I should wash the sheets today. It’s been a while since we washed them,” dad said getting up.

He washed our bed sheets every other Saturday. My mom took over my dad’s sit and watched the show with me. We were both laughing and yelling at the TV.

“Honey, can you come here for a minute?” my dad called to my mother. She stood up and walked towards his voice.

I heard them whispering to each other before coming out to the living room. My dad holding something in his hands. My sketchbook. My heartbeat sped up.

“Chris, who’s this?” he asked. He held up the sketchbook, so the picture of Tyler was showing.

“Um…My friend?”

“Why is there a heart around him?”

I didn’t want them to find out. Not like this. I didn’t know how they would react. I didn’t want to know, ever.

“Chris,” my mother said quietly, “if this means what I think it means, don’t think for a second that we will think any different of you.”

Her words lifted a weight off my shoulders. But I still didn’t want to say it.

“Yeah. I’m… gay,” I said almost in tears.

My father sighed and took the seat next to me on the couch. “Why didn’t you tell us sooner?” he asked quietly. I turned my head to face him.

“Because I was scared of how you’d react. I thought you’d think I was some kind of child of Satan or something,”

“We would never think that. We love you Chris. We don’t care whom you love,” my mother spoke up. “However, I would like to meet this boy,”

My phone Vibrated just then. Taking it out, I saw it was a text from Tyler. I half smiled as I read his text.

I love you too.

”Who texted you?” My dad asked, suddenly interested in my business.

“Tyler,” I said honestly. My dad got up and went to the kitchen. My mother, however, decided to be my own personal fan-girl. She sat on the couch next to me excitedly.

“What did he say?” she smiled. I saw right through her. I knew she was okay with this, and that she was covering up for my dad’s lack of enthusiasm.

“He told me he loves me.” I blushed.

My mother smiled brightly. But dropped her smile when we heard a loud bang from the kitchen as my father had went. She gave me an apologetic look as she got up and left me watching Pawn Stars.

My sketchbook was on the ground. My dad must have dropped it, I thought as I picked it up.

I felt proud of myself for coming out to my parents after knowing I was gay for so long.

But then I heard my parents arguing.

“Just accept him for who he is!” my mother yelled. “There’s no use in trying to change him,”

“I know, but it’s hard when your only son is gay! I had so many wonderful things to look forward to; him bringing his prom date home, him bringing his wife over on holidays, now none of that will ever happen! Now I have to watch him as he brings home a boy, and for him to wait and see if I approve. You know how hard it is to have to deal with that? We can’t tell anyone he’s gay, either. Hell, he didn’t even want US to know!”

I stopped listening at that and ran to my room. On my bed, with the comfort of my pillow, I let all of my grief out.

I love you, too.

I kept reading Tyler’s text over and over again.

Tyler loved me. I loved Tyler. Nothing could stop that.

*****

Have you ever felt like Chris does? Could you share it with us?