The woman I loved the most hurt me so much. She made me question my existence. Maybe Sbu was right. I made a decision that from then on to put my heart in the black plastic bag. I felt sorry for any woman I would date after that. It’s a cold world after all.
OK, before I continue, let me share a little secret that I have never shared with anyone, not even my close friend Sbu. Besides being a nice and caring guy who respects women I was a virgin. But I made sure that no one knew.
So with Zisanda I had hoped she would be my first. But I didn’t know how to get her to my house, so I never did. I can imagine some of you saying, “Dude, how old were you? No wonder Zisanda left you, I don’t blame her.”
Now that you know my secret, let’s move on.
As they say: it’s no use crying over spilt milk. So I tried to get over her, I moved on.
U sound lyk a nyc guy do u mnd if we mit?
Asked the girl I was chatting with on Mxit.
Yeah sure, why not. When do u want us to meet?
2mro arnd 4 if it’s ok wth u
fine by me. I cant wait 2 c u
We met the following day. It was a Tuesday. I agreed to meet her because she was so beautiful, we had exchanged pictures before. I was hoping that it was really her on those pictures. You know how on Mxit some people can send you their friend’s pictures and when you meet them you find out that they are the opposite of what they sent you.
Fortunately it was really her. She was a bit chubby, dark in completion. But boy, she was beautiful; a brown chocolate. I was surprised that she was single, but hey there I was handsome and single too. We took a walk to the gardens and started to chat and got to know each other. She had a good sense of humour. She was a free spirit; she dominated most of our conversation. She was always leading. We liked each other and decided to date.
Hey love, I know we have just started dating… my parents will be out of town this weekend can you please come over to keep me company?
It was on Thursday afternoon, when I saw her SMS. I responded without thinking
No prob love I will come over
C u 2moro then. They’re leaving @ 6. u can get here around 8”
“Cul babe. be there at 8
I thought about what I was putting myself into. I had never sleep over before. It was going to be my first time. Then the day came. I got an SMS around about 6:30.
Hey babe my parents just left, dnt 4get 2 bring condoms 😉
I started to shake a bit, my heart was beating fast like it was about to come out. I tried to calm myself. “Relax, tonight is the night,” I told myself. But that little voice kept asking “What if you mess up. What if she finds out that you have never done it before? You’re going to make a fool out of myself.”
I thought very carefully about this, there was no turning back. Then I remembered a conversation I once had with Sbu.
“Sira mfethu, the reason why girls love me so much is because I know how to satisfy them. You see, you must not be like other idiots who just take off the lady’s clothes and put in their things. You must be gentle and not rush things. Kiss her properly on the mouth, and then slowly move to her neck. While kissing her neck, breathe heavily, rubbing her upper body same time, her back then her boobs, then slowly rub her tummy. At this time you kissing her on the mouth then back to the neck. Slowly take off her shirt. Kiss her on the neck for few seconds, then take off her bra and kiss her in-between her boobs while you breathing heavily, then suck her nipples. While you doing this, slowly take your hands down there. Play around. Then test the water. Remove her jeans and continue to kiss. Then take off her panties and do your thing.”
Of course I had listened so attentively, making sure I don’t miss even a single detail.
“Eish Sbu, you like to act like an expect.” I said laughing, “Every guy knows that,” I said, trying so hard not to show Sbu that I didn’t know a single thing he was talking about. I had never kissed naked women before, let alone seeing one.
“You can be surprised ngwenya, there are many girls who complain about poor sex that they are getting.”
Fortunately I had never given someone bad sex, maybe not yet. Sbu continued with his “sex 101 lesson”.
“The trick is, during your first round you must not rush because you are still trying to find yourself. First rounds most of the times they are quick, they can even last for a minute if you are weak…” He bust to laughter then continued “…on your second round, Sira, you must make sure you build your reputation.”
As I was thinking about this conversation I hoped I was not going to forget even a single step when I put it into practice. I thought to myself, what would I be if Sbu wasn’t around? I was grateful I had a friend with such experience.
***
Let’s chat: What do you think of Sbu’s advice?