After 3 or 4 visits, I decided I wanted to move in with my dad and his family. But that was the worst decision I have ever made.

My two half siblings did not like me, especially my sister. There were fights and arguments in the house and they made me feel like I did not belong there, like I was a stranger. My sister had a 2 Quire notebook and had written all sorts of stuff about how much she hated me and wished I could go back to wherever I came from.

I felt isolated and spent my nights crying. I ended up going back to the place I knew as home and they welcomed me with open arms.

I finished my matric in 2014 while staying with these lovely God-given parents who shaped and molded me into this young woman I am today.

As I reflect on my life’s experiences, challenges, mistakes, rebellion, and lesson’s learned, I reckon that even I could not have hired a more skilled architect to sketch the blue prints of my life other than Father God himself.

There are times in my life that I deeply regret some of the choices I made in an attempt to protect the heart of the little girl who was taken advantage of, even before the age of accountability. And after many years of struggling with guilt, fear, rejection, low self-esteem, insecurity and mental torment, my desperation drove me to find the answer through discovering my state of spiritual bankruptcy.

I did not plan for my life to turn out the way it did, but I know everything that happened to me was predestined even before the foundations of the Earth were laid. One of the important lessons I learnt on this journey was that I alone am enough and do not need anyone to validate, approve and decide my worth.

My happiness is not determined by my circumstances, but it comes directly from the Lord. I forgave myself and others who have sinned against me. I now have peace and God guides and leads my life.


Tell us: What do you think of the story? What advice would you give Thembelihle.