I thought of dying by using that fluorescent bulb. Hanging myself. I conceived useless thoughts and I was angry at God and his followers… and, God have mercy, I almost denounced Christianity! God didn’t seem bothered about my situation. Or maybe he thought I was a 21st century Job? No, why would he think such a thing? He wouldn’t have thought that, right? Maybe the devil pushed him to desert me! But he should have known that I do not have the strong faith that Job had. I am just common… an ordinary Odii.

But Guess what?! Through all my fears and challenges in there, you kept me going! Just the mere thought of you made my burdens feel lighter. Because I know that you are the one person that will never desert me. I often sing the songs by your favourite artist, Don Williams. The one that is always on my lips is: I Wouldn’t Be a Man.

‘There’s a slow moon rising,

It’s shining on your skin,

The way your body moves me, I know there’s

No holding back, no holding back…’

Each time I sang it in there, I felt like living. I felt like having you in my arms once again, set for another love adventure. To tell you the truth, I never stopped loving you, not even once! Even when I know deep down in my heart that I have failed you and have fallen short of your expectations, here I am with my bag of hope, smiling through misery, just because I am thinking of you. Truthfully, there was a time when I felt like dropping this bag of hope I carry now. I felt like dropping this bag and wearing my sack-cloth, the way it fitted me.

I was caught in the web of despair again when my old cellie died. He died of a cardiac arrest. He died in my arms and I did not do anything to save him. He was my guardian in the Big House. He had been to Room 7 too. He had gone there over ten times which sometimes caused him to behave like a baby while he was still alive. I was called out to be questioned by the officers. They asked me if Oldie disclosed anything to me before his demise.

‘I can’t recall him telling me anything.’

‘Nothing? Nothing even anything about money, stealing, shooting and selling crack?’ The huge officer questioned me.

‘Oh money? Well, we always talked about getting money, living the good life and taking care of family.’ I responded.

‘See, young man, you…’ he stopped abruptly, ran his right hand through his hair and continued: ‘Who did you say stole Mr Baldwin’s shoes?’

‘I said I dunno, and I don’t know who did!’

‘You’re still lying! Maybe you do not know who Mr Baldwin is? He is one of the Wall Street action guys and he is not ready to have you released until you provide either the shoes or the thieves.’

‘I swear, I don’t know any…’ I was jerked off the seat, before I could finish what was on my lips, by another officer.

‘You will talk once you have visited Room 7.’

That was all. They threw me in there again. This time, my hands were not cuffed. So when the road became tough, I used the rags in the cell to make a noose with which I planned hanging myself. As with Benny, before his death; I saw angels descending from heaven to comfort me.

There, I saw pain develop wings, cough and then laugh in his wicked style. He came after me like an old time enemy, who has been hungry for vengeance since creation. He took me by the waist, hands, legs, head, belly, lungs and every part of my body. I was in anguish and wished I were wizard Zed of the Legend of The Seeker. Then I could have broken the cells, destroyed the building and freed all these innocent prisoners. I wished I had the powers needed for this. Guess what my guardian angel told me? He said: ‘One day child, you will understand the true reason of your existence’. Do you think I have some magical powers that are unknown to me?

Dear, there are too many things to tell you, but because of space and not time, I have to stop here. I’m already writing at the margin. LOL. See you again.

Love from

Odii

***

Tell us: Do you think Odii will ever get out?