It was four years later and things seemed to crumble from every corner for Ntandoyenkosi. Nathi’s death still sat heavily on her chest. She often had bloodshot eyes from crying and trying to figure out life. In a space of just four years, things had changed so much for her.
She was in her final year of high school and suffering from depression and anxiety. She couldn’t really talk to anyone about it, this was one disorder people didn’t take seriously. It was either classified as adolescence or just seeking attention.
Ntandozi struggled with thoughts of taking her own life. Her low self-esteem made her drag her feet and each day was another struggle. She pretended and hid her pain so well, her smile was one that was therapeutic.
As if losing her mum and Nathi wasn’t enough, now she had to deal with her home being repossessed. She felt like God really hated her. How would she survive, she couldn’t even think straight.
Life was a living hell for Ntandoyenkosi. She tried again to reunite with her father, but he could not avail himself to be a parent. She struggled and often went to bed hungry. But if there’s one thing she was determined to do was to finish studying and become the social worker she aspired to be.
She completed her matric with outstanding results and did not struggle to get bursaries. Ntandoyenkosi graduated top of her class and that moment was bittersweet for her. In her mind she kept picturing her mum and Nathi besides her, but God had taken them.
Nathi had taken his own life after getting the news of Simthandile’s death. He went to take a bath and slit his wrists. By the time Ntandoyenkosi found him, it was too late.
She couldn’t help but weep loudly, holding her chest and struggling to breathe as the memories came flooding in. One of her lecturers rushed to her and held her as tightly as she could.
“What’s coming is great beyond all the pain you have experienced,” the lecturer said. “God has a plan for your life and He chose you because He trusts you.”
These perhaps were the words she longed to hear all along. And finally she had made it, against all odds.
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