The final day arrived and I had to leave him. That day I saw another side of him. He failed to say goodbye and he was in tears, crying like a baby. When I gave him a tight hug it felt like I was about to leave him for good, but that wasn’t my intention. Seeing him in tears made me believe that he truly loved me but as they say, nothing lasts forever.

When I arrived at my parents’ place I felt a new beginning in my heart. I told myself it was my time to live a happy life, with no secrets and tears. I ran towards my mom giving her a hug. It was seven years without seeing their faces; such a long time. Who wouldn’t be happy to live with his or her parents? I was excited.

But things didn’t go as I expected. Mom and dad were against dating and I was dating. Prince and I were in touch, we used to talk like nothing had changed between us. But it changed when my mother caught me for the first time; that caused tension between us. I remember it like yesterday. She caught me on WhatsApp busy chatting which made her suspect that something was clearly not good.

“Give me your phone, Amanda,” my mom ordered.

She saw and read everything we were talking about. I never saw my mother so angry before. She slapped me unexpectedly and the investigation began. She started questioning me about Prince, but I never intended to answer her questions because I knew she wasn’t going to understand anything. But when she started talking ill of Prince, saying bad things about him, I couldn’t tolerate that.

“Stop! You have no idea about what you are saying,” I said out loud.

For saying that I got another slap. Being slapped wasn’t painful. I couldn’t cry more than the pain I went through, which changed me for good.

It was time to reveal the secret that I’d been hiding for such a long time — I never told anyone except for Prince. The secret was a burden and heavy for me to carry. I never told anyone because I thought they were all going to say I was trying to separate my family.

“When I was a child I was raped by a member of the family, my uncle,” I said.

My mother was shocked but didn’t know what to say.

After the attack, life completely changed for me. That sweet little girl died many years ago. I became so aggressive, not feeling good around people, I had mood swings as I didn’t talk to anybody. I thought no one cared about me so I didn’t want to be a burden for anyone as I silenced myself. No one ever understood me from that day because I really changed. I’m sure many people used to hate me because of my actions. Day and night I would cry. My pillow knows my life struggle better than anyone. I didn’t want anyone feeling pity or telling me that they understood because no one felt the pain that I did.

Tell us: What advice would you give Amanda?