As she was still talking to me I was still feeling the pain in my wrists because of the tight handcuffs and I was now chained like a dog because of him. I didn’t even know whether court would grant me bail or not and my career was at stake. I had more serious problems to worry about rather than a dead bastard.

Entering prison was terrifying. I gazed with fear. The prisoners were so wild and hungry in their deep horrible voices, as if they wanted to eat me alive. I looked at myself; my hands handcuffed tightly, the chains eating out of me and both my legs chained up in those Orange things they call a cloth. I saw all the criminals locked up in their cells. They were barking at me, saying words like “You are a dead man!” What for? I asked myself.

Well, by looking at them and seeing those facial expressions, I think I already knew the answers, as I usually heard rumours people said about prison. That there, it’s hard to live, especially if you don’t know their codes which they use as means of communication. You became their toy because in the dark you became their bitch and they raped you. Those are the 28 and in the 26 group you are required to kill to prove your manliness and the power you possess.

I also now had experienced the reality of these rumours. In the dark, the first time I arrived in prison nothing happened to me but I already knew that I was the targeted prey. I heard the prisoners talking and looking at me and I picked up that their conversation must’ve been about me. I saw their looks while they were locked inside their cells and when the two prison guards accompanied me to my cell. I thought to myself that all these guys could see that I was a weak, soft man who’s had a good life outside of prison.

I know they were hungry to beat the good life they thought I lived out of me. What scared me the most were the stories of rape (being raped would make me feel half the man I am now) and also the thought of choosing which group members I had to belong to was going to be the toughest decision of my life, either the 28s or the 26s.

I never thought I would one day be in jail because I had taught myself discipline and how to walk in the good steps so I never actually payed attention to prison stories. Then as the two guards reached my cell, they first gave me instructions which I had to adhere to or otherwise be penalised. If a prisoner maybe got stabbed or beat up another prisoner, there would be an extension in his jail sentence.
After a long walk, I finally reached my cell. I was pushed harshly and locked in quickly. I began to cry and cry and demanded to see my lawyer but the prison guards never paid any attention, so I just began to murmur to myself. I still wished I could scream louder but my voice was also lost, with my confidence. I could see the guards disappearing in the prison corners.

I didn’t want to be left alone in that small, smelly cell with such abnormal people. All I wanted was protection from those sharks but the guards disappeared mysteriously. I then stopped holding my cell and I turned back to look at my cell. I could see a small bed which had dirty sheets and a dirty disgusting toilet in front. This was the worst life, which took me back to my years of struggle. Life back then was also a hack, we lived in total anguish. I sat on the bed and put my head on the pillow and I let my imagination run wild, focusing on my past memories. I began to think about how life was when I was still younger and the pain endured.

We lived in a shack that had holes; the cold air came inside and left a breeze of cold in the body. The rain just flooded in and the only thing we had to really protect us was the bed because the floor was flooded. So, we slept on the bed until the rain stopped because you couldn’t put your feet on the floor. It wasn’t any different than sleeping outside because every rainy season was the same.

That life had caused me to fear failure because I didn’t want to live it for the rest of my life. It wasn’t a happy life, I was even shy to show my friends the place that I called home. I remember there was one time where I just wanted to be alone and cursed God for such a life. I wanted no one to hear me because though we lived in anguish, my family still respected God and they never missed grace.

***

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