Well I was blinded because a criminal will always be a criminal. The bastard had been forcing my wife to sleep with him and he had raped her more times than I could imagine. So I shot him. I felt revulsion towards Anna because I did not know the truth. I thought she had really seduced him back then. I felt demoralised when the police came and arrested me in my house. I was manhandled like a big time criminal or was I really a criminal?

“Oh God!” I said those two words, knowing my reputation had been destroyed. I knew people would now look at me differently. As I was dragged towards the van, I could hear voices in my head. The devil was laughing at me, saying, “Yes! Everything you’ve ever worked for in your life is now gone! So what are you going to do huh? Kill yourself.”

The voices continued in strong whispers but I hadn’t really lost hope though. My only hope rested on my family. Would they forgive me or not? I told myself that I would really kill myself if they rejected my apologies.

As the police were dragging me to the van I got angry once again because I felt a boot kicking at my butt. I turned my head to see who this person that was violating my rights was, because I wasn’t a prisoner yet. They had no right to be kicking me already, and it was a woman… She shoved my head harshly in the police van. I will never forget their angry faces while I was in the van, being taken to jail. I asked myself when the sun was going to rise.

My mind was just confused. I thought that this must be a nightmare but this time I was wrong. I wasn’t dreaming and I had to face up to reality. I wouldn’t have been surprised if it was a dream though because before this tragedy I kind of had strange dreams. I had a dream that I was flowing in the ocean, crying for help but no one could hear me. Until I died. The ocean then tossed me aside and threw me back in the sand. I could see myself and I could also feel the urging pain. But the dream also made me feel relieved and light bodied, as if something that had been heavy on my shoulders and the heavy stones on my head had been removed.

I also had another dream where I was running away from a big snake that would’ve swallowed me whole, that’s how big it was. I tried to run faster but I couldn’t run very far, so the snake (anaconda) caught up with me. As it was just about to bite me I woke up immediately with extreme shock! I was also sweating. I was awakened by the alarm clock that made an irritating sound, ringing continuously. It was time to go to work.

I felt the cold air as I took my leg off the sheets followed by my body itself. I went to the bathroom where I had my bath and I got dressed, as per my normal routine. I then heard Anna’s voice in the kitchen, she was calling me to come and have my breakfast before I was off to work. She was someone who was so happy in the mornings, as usual, so I suspected nothing that she wasn’t OK with. Little did I know that when I was off to work she was left being some bastard’s sex slave.
Now I’m in jail and I just received a visit from my wife.

“Anna, why did you do it? Why did you seduce my brother?” I thought that I would get all the answers that I thought I should expect, such as: it’s because we haven’t made love in a long time now, so she missed me and she ended up becoming emotionally attracted towards him. But it was something different.

Anna told me that the only thing she sought from me was my forgiveness and that she was forced. She told me that Sipho had a dagger which he used to threaten her and took control after I left for work. She also said that she didn’t want to endanger my life as well, from my own brother.

What made me cry was that it wasn’t the first time the bastard had raped my wife. It had been going on for some time now. She also told me that going to the police was a dangerous move because Sipho told her he’d already made friends inside that prison. So if he ever came out he’d go straight to kill her and of course Sipho prevented this by all means. He even threatened to kill Anna’s little sister Sindi, who stayed with her family where Anna used to live before she got married.

She also said that it was all my fault; I had brought a monster in our house. Those words hit me like a tornado that I almost lashed out on her. But she was right. I thought that he’d change once we had reconnected again and give us a chance to live out our past memories. I thought that I could help raise his dreams he once had by inspiring him because I was living my dream. I could’ve been a perfect role model to him.

Anna also told me some details which I didn’t want to hear in prison. She told me that my brother was going to be buried the following Saturday. I became angry with her because I wasn’t in the grieving mood and I felt no sympathy for my dead brother. All the memories we shared were now lost and I didn’t want anything to do with that name ‘brother’ or Sipho. In the condition I was in, because of him, a person I once called brother, but I now had no brother.

***

Tell us: Would you kill to protect your loved one?