“Bophelo ngwanaka, don’t be ashamed. It is okay,” Moipone comforted her.

“Moipone, nothing is okay! What do you mean? How can you tell her having a man old enough to be her father as a boyfriend is okay? Sesi, it is not okay.” Mologadi said to Moipone. Then she turned to Bophelo. “Listen, Bophelo! I can’t believe you could do this. This is not how I raised you. I raised you to be a well-mannered child, not to date older men!”

“Motswala, are you serious about this?” Nareadi asked sighing. Bophelo nodded and continued crying. Tsietsi started comforting her and making her feel better but Rati said more disturbing things.

“But Bophelo, how could you do such a shameful thing? Having an older man for a boyfriend, mokgalabje. Yoh! That is so shameful couzie,” she clapped her hands and started murmuring. Bophelo continued crying but started to speak again.

“This man wants to marry me soon and that’s why I have to tell you about him. So that when he sends his family here you won’t be surprised. And please Rati, stop making this a huge deal. Being in love with an older man is not shameful, stop acting like your life is perfect. Even you as ‘perfect’ as you are, have a chapter you’re not reading out loud.”

Rati started making noise and shouting at Bophelo. There was a lot of noise and Nareadi tried to stop it.

“Rati shut up maan! Why do you love to cause trouble where there isn’t any! Shut up maan! Who are you to judge Phelo, this is a matter for our parents, not for us to make our cousin feel bad.”

Rati stopped talking and calmed down. Petrous asked all the children, except Bophelo, to step out. They all stood up and went out, Oratile gave Bophelo a very nasty look.

“Okay ngwanaka, it’s just us and we’ll talk this through. So now explain to us, who is this man?” said Petrous.

“Petrous, there is nothing this child should explain. She should just know I will not accept a man six years older than me to be my son in law. That is just rubbish, rubbish Bophelo!”

Petrous looked at her angrily and turned to look at Moipone, who spoke softly to Bophelo.

“Phelo, don’t let what your mother is saying get you down. Your uncle and I have no problem with the man you want to marry. If you say you love him and he loves you too, then we shall talk this through and see what we can do.”

Mologadi just looked at everyone and clapped her hands then she looked the other way and didn’t say a word. When Moipone tried to speak to her she just clicked her tongue and kept looking the other way. Bophelo’s crying was also not helping as Petrous got angry and scolded her to stop crying.

“Mama, please talk to me, why won’t you talk to me? Please Mangoane, help me. Malome tell mama to talk to me.”

Moipone tried to help Bophelo and Mologadi to turn but she was not ready to say good things.

“Bophelo, I won’t let you marry someone old enough to be my own husband. What will the people say? They’ll say I sold you. This family’s name will be tarnished, the neighbours will look down on me. And how will this man of yours respect me as his mother in law if I am younger than him?”

Moipone told her that she shouldn’t care about what other people will say. but Mologadi just drank her juice and left.

“I will not sit here and listen to this nonsense. Bophelo, when you’ve had some sense knocked into your head you’ll talk to me. And I do not see myself accepting an older man to marry you, my only child,” she said and got up and left.

By the time Bophelo rushed inside to try to talk to her, Mologadi was already at the gate leaving. Bophelo just went inside and sat on the couch with her cousins.

“So has Mangoane accepted the disgrace you want to do?” Oratile asked in a smug voice. Bophelo just looked at her and went to her bedroom.

“Oratile, why do you love to see Bophelo suffering? Ca’t you just support her for once in your life!” Nareadi started shouting at Rati and there was a lot of noise in the living room.

***

Tell us what you think: Should a parent have a right to choose who their child marries? Why? Why not?