So, after two years of being looked at like something that crawled out of a grave, I decide it was time I did something that made me happy.

First thing I did was listen to my friend who said to use what I have and seduce my husband. When I told her I had been trying for the last two years, she said I had been doing it wrong. There was no way he would follow me anywhere dressed like his mother.

So we went shopping. She made me buy things I used to say belonged to whores, dresses I wouldn’t want my father to catch me in, and underwear I had only seen on TV. At least I was used to wearing heels.

“Oh my God!” She said when she saw me come out of my bathroom dressed in a tight-fitting dress and heels. “Man that guy doesn’t know what he has. I am telling you, if only your face looked as good as your body, then we wouldn’t be having this problem.”

Sometimes I hated how blunt she was, but it was also why I loved being her friend. She called black exactly how she saw it.

“You’re going to rock that party babe, and since we, common people, are not invited, we have to live it through you. So you have to be my eyes and ears, OK? I would like to see your husband when he sees you looking hotter than that piece of celery at his side. To see his expression when he sees that for the first time you are out of the house…”

Then she bit her lip, something she did when she was thinking.

“I wish you would go there with my boyfriend and pretend he is your boy toy. If not to irritate your snake husband, then for me, because Xolani is a newspaper. And he would make sure all the details you thought unimportant would reach my ears as well,”

I laughed because well, what could I do without this friend of mine.

When it was time to go to the party, I was still nervous. I waited until I heard one of his cars leave before I went to the garage to take one for myself.

The club, called The Blue Room, was packed. Entry was by invitation only for the day and my husband had rented the whole place for his 30th birthday.

“Your invitation ma’am,” the bouncer said, as I made it to the door.

“I didn’t think I would need one seeing as this is my husband’s birthday party,” the bouncer didn’t wait to exchange words with me, he just fell onto his walkie-talkie.

“There is someone at the door without an invite and she claims to be your wife sir.” The after a short pause, “You can enter ma’am.”

***

Tell us: How do you think the party will go?