Days passed; and when I saw Oscar online again and tried to greet him he would not respond, or would put on a busy sign. By this time, I was beyond confused. I didn’t know what I was doing wrong and then my Mxit started giving me problems. I was forced to download an older version, but the problem with the older version was that it didn’t show profile pictures, not that I really cared.
Finally, Oscar managed to respond to my texts. I wrote him a long letter telling him how the way he had been acting was hurting me. He then apologised. It felt so good; everything I was holding against him just vanished. I felt like I had finally released a fart I had been holding for two hours. I forgave him completely and we started to chat like lovers once again. He called me sweet names once again and it took me back to when I had first fallen for him. I was so excited that things had returned to normal. Geez…I really loved that guy.
Oscar: Any comment about my profile picture?
Me: Oops! My Mxit doesn’t show profile pictures.
Me: Wait, I think I have a plan. Let me add you into a multi-mix, then retrieve your profile.
I had to feed my curiosity, but as soon as I retrieved his profile I regretted it.
I saw some girl posing like a mad woman for his profile picture, then as I scrolled down I saw that he had written about a girl named Thandi and how much he loved her. Seeing this tore my heart into pieces. How can a human being be so heartless? Out of all the bad things he had done to me, this took the cake.
What hurt me the most was that he had written about Thandi under ‘about me’, not on a status update. You could only see that part after retrieving someone’s profile back then. He must have been unaware that I could see this information; usually it’s only the user who sees their ‘about me’ info. And it showed that he didn’t write about her to spite anyone, but instead wrote about her from the bottom of his heart. And that killed me, because I loved him so much, and he apparently loved her.
Me: Who is she?
Oscar: She’s my young sister.
I wanted desperately to believe him, but what he had written about Thandi contradicted his response.
Me: Is her name Thandi?
He was obviously confused by my question.
Me: How could you be so cruel? I gave you my heart. I broke rules to be with you and you told me you loved me. Did you lie? How could you be so evil?
I could feel warm tears battling to roll down my cheeks and a slight pain in the side of my left breast where my heart is. The more I tried to stop crying, the more it hurt.
Oscar: No please, I’m sorry. I’ll remove it. I wrote it before we met. You are the one I love now.
Me: My heart is aching so bad. Never once did I think you’d hurt me like this. Goodbye Oscar.
But I couldn’t delete him. How do you remove what makes you whole? He begged me to stay, but I eventually got up the courage to delete him from friends list.
At school the next day, I couldn’t concentrate. And when I got home that afternoon, I found an invite from him again. He apologised continuously and I eventually took him back, but things were different this time around. I had lost so much trust in him. So after a few weeks, I decided to leave him again, this time for good.
Later, I found Oscar on Facebook and discovered that he had actually lied about almost everything he had told me. I even found out that he had had two kids from different women. What I’ll never know is whether he really loved me or not. Two years after breaking up with Oscar, I decided that I needed closure. I sent him a message telling him that I had never loved any guy like I had loved him.
Oscar: What changed then?
Me: Nothing. Besides the fact that I met the guy of my dreams since we last talked, the guy that deserves my love.
Oscar: Good luck then.
From that day forwards, I never again responded to any of his texts. Now, I am celebrating my four-year anniversary with the guy I met after leaving Oscar. Letting go wasn’t easy; it was close to impossible, but hey look at me now! I’m with a guy who has never betrayed my trust, he respects me and I don’t feel like I’m in any kind of competition with other girls. I love him so much, probably more than I ever loved Oscar.
Tell us what you think: Would you have forgiven Oscar if you were in the same situation as the author?