Love is not a simple thing. It’s not always as beautiful as is portrayed in movies and Disney World. When it finds you, it either leaves you happy or heartbroken. My love story began just a few years ago.
As an introvert, I found comfort in social media, Mxit to be exact. The first time I joined the hopeless world of social media I was in Grade 7 – if I recall correctly. I was so excited because all of my friends had it and I was certainly the only one without it. My mom wouldn’t allow me to have it due to safety reasons. But like they say, “You can be the best parent in the whole world, but as soon as your kids step out of that door they’ll behave how they see fit.” Going against my mother’s wishes, I created my own Mxit account and soon began to invite people to become my friend.
Because I felt guilty about having Mxit in the first place, I decided to never put a real picture of myself as my profile picture. No one can harm you if they don’t know what you look like, I thought to myself. Little did I realise, pain is not only physical; I would soon experience my own bout of emotional pain.
After a few days of chatting, some guy named Oscar invited me to be his friend. At that time, I had Raven Simone from “That’s So Raven” comedy TV-show as my profile picture; she’s a celebrity after all and I didn’t think it would be a problem. Oscar and I started chatting, but I deleted him after he told me he was 26 years old. I was only 13 then, even though I told everyone on my chat list that I was 18. Of course judging by my IQ, you wouldn’t argue with me about my “fake age.” After deleting Oscar, he tried to friend me once again. Then he admitted something surprising.
Oscar: I’m actually only 21. I thought you were into older guys. That’s why I lied. I’m sorry.
From his message of confession onwards, I became addicted to Mxit. We exchanged digits just to send “please call me” every time we wanted to chat with each other. We chatted almost 24/7 and we became very good friends. Apart from my real age, I was honest about everything else with him, and I believed he was too.
Oscar seemed so different from other guys. He had morals, knew how to make me smile and was well reserved. But dating him was the last thing on my mind then. As a Christian, I was taught never to date. I fear God with all my heart. I remember when I was in Grade 5, I started dating a guy in my class, but then on the next Sunday I heard my Sunday school teacher saying children of God don’t date; they get married. Believe me, the following day I dumped my first love without a second thought on the matter.
In those days, only God had a special place in my heart. But Oscar was a complete Godsend. As much as I was running away from dating him, he wasn’t proposing either. As time went by, the feelings I had for him started to develop even more. They were so strong, and trying to fight them felt like trying to contradict gravity. Avoiding my feelings felt like trying to separate salt from sugar after they’ve been combined.
“What am I going to do?” I asked myself one morning after a fitful night’s sleep. I knew the answer was, “nothing.” It was another day, and my feelings for Oscar would not be ignored. I took a long, hard look at my cell phone; Oscar was all I could think of. I then logged on to my Mxit account, and to my surprise found Oscar online.
Oscar: Hey, good morning (coffee emoticon).
Me: How are you?
Oscar: Not that great.
Me: What’s the problem?
Oscar: There is something I’ve been wanting to tell you.
I could feel a heavy storm was coming with whatever he had to tell me.
Oscar: I really tried to control myself, but I can’t anymore.
Oh God! I didn’t know what to do at that point, not because I was afraid of the confession I thought he was about to make, but I was afraid of having to respond to it.
Tell us: What do you think Oscar will say?