After a moment of hugging, a weird and awkward feeling approached. He stared at me really long and hard and suddenly he pulled himself towards my face. I pulled away quickly.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing Ntiyiso?” I asked angrily.
“I…I thought that…”
“You thought what, Ntiyiso? That you can take advantage because I’m vulnerable?” I asked with rage.
“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to…”
“You know what? Just go, and never come back.”
“But… I’m sor…”
“Get out!” I shouted.
“I’m sorry, Mihloti,” he said walking out.
The guy’s a jerk, I thought to myself. He knew very well I had a lot to deal with but still insisted on adding himself to the equation.
*****
Since my mom had been away, everyone had been making me feel inhumane. They were ill-treating me, seeing that no-one was there to stand up for me. From Ma’Gumede, Ntiyiso to Khombo, I was going to put a stop to all this madness. I would go away too; permanently.
It wasn’t like my death would affect anyone; they would be glad I will be dead and out of their lives.
As I walked to Mavichocho tuck-shop, I notice families being happy; with smiles all over their faces and probably happiness in the depth of their hearts.
Khombo and her family – with a dad, were playing basketball in the yard. And as always, Khombo couldn’t wait to boast about what she had that I lacked.
“Mihloti, don’t you want to join us?” she asked faking humour.
“Ummm… I would like to…”
“Oops! You can’t, it’s a family game and you don’t have a family, do you?”
There we go again, does she have to remind me?
“Oh, it’s fine Khombo,” I said, humbly walking away.
She’ll be glad to know it’s the last time that she’ll be seeing my family-less face, I thought to myself.
Finally, I got to Mavichocho tuck-shop.
“Hi, can I have rat poison, please?”
“Of course, rats annoying you, little miss?” the shopkeeper asked pulling out a bag.
“Your job’s to sell me things, not interrogate me,” I replied rudely.
“Woah, shoot me for asking.”
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude,” I apologised looking down.
“It’s fine.”
I couldn’t wait to get home and kill myself. It was useless living an incomplete life. I hoped to die a painless death, though.
As I turned for home I saw someone standing at the gate. Have I gone mad? I asked myself. It was not possible that it could be her. I rubbed my eyes but still nothing changed, she was standing there. It really was her, it was my mom.
I ran as fast as I could and as I ran I fell hard, but it didn’t matter, I picked myself and went on as if nothing happened. For the first time I was really happy to see my mom. It was a feeling I couldn’t put in words. I couldn’t believe it was her; after all this time, she was finally back.
***
Let’s chat: What are your thoughts on suicide? How can we end the growing rate of teenage suicides in SA?