Zangalibazise utata lo sasithunywe kuye wagxabha-gxabhisa waphuma nathi ehamba nenkosikazi yakhe.

Sathi xa sibusondela sikude kufuphi nasendlini sabona kuthe chasi ngabantu phandle, kuphithizela kule yasekhaya iyadi. Lwaqala lwabetha ngamandla kum uvalo ndabuza kule ingumkhuluwa ndibona ukuba nayo immangazekile.

“Kwenzeka ntoni? Kutheni kwagcwala kangaka endlini?” kodwa lombuzo wam akazange aphenduleke.

Saqhubeka nokuhamba kuvakala nesingqi senyawo zethu kukuxhabasha kwasuka kwaphela naloncoko phakathi kwethu sobabini. Xa sifika endlini utata lo sasithunywe kuye nomama wakwakhe bangena endlini, ndibabona ukuba bothukile futhi abayazi lento babizelwa yona. Nathi ke nomkhuluwa sanyakathisa kwabo bammelwane babelapho ukungena phakathi eyadini.

Emva kwemizuzwana sihleli phandle sabizwa.

“Kuthwa ngenani endlini,” wathi gqi sesitsho umakazi owalekela umama. Ndaqale ndayiqonda xa kulapho ukuba ukhona undonakele. Sangena ke nyhani phakathi babe oobhuti basebummelwaneni beququzela bekhupha impahla yasendlini phandle.

Wasibizela bucala ke utata wasenkonzweni wasixelela ukuba uBhele, ngelixesha besithunyiwe, intlungu ziye zamongamela zamtya, zamtyakatya de wawunabel’uqaqaqa. Azange ndikholelwe.

Ndanyakathisa futhi kulomxokoxela ndifuna ukuzibonela ngawam. Nyhani ndafika xa egqunywa ngelaphu, ndayibona nyhani indod’enkulu ijongise intshebe phezulu. Lombono wanditsho ndatyhafa umphefumlo wangathi uyaqhawuka, ndathi chu ukuya egumbini lam lokulala iinyembezi ndizibambe ngenkophe.

Xa ndifika egumbini lam into yokuqala endangqala kuyo yi-journal yam, ndatsho ndayiphalaza kuyo imbilini yam iinyembezi zizehlela ngeloxesha.

Dear journal, I’ve never done this before I’m new to the entire concept, but if I keep letting my feelings stay bottled up inside I might just explode. Intlungu esemphefumlweni ayivumi ndithule. Kakade yintoni le yayindenza ndicinge ukuba owam utata yimbokotho yenxiwa akazulandulela eliphakade limagad’ahlabayo? Kuba incwadi yezibhalo yakubeka kwacaca kwantlandlolo ukuba into ezelwe ngumfazi imihla yayo mifutshane izele zinkathazo, iphuma njengentyatyambo ibune, ibaleka njengethunzi ingemi, ide ithi akwaba bekukho ohlambulikileyo ophume koyinqambi, kodwa akukho nokuba abemnye. Kakade yintoni le ibindiqhatha ndide ndicinge ukuba oyinqambi oyakubakho apha eMabheleni, kodwa izibhalo zithi akukho nokuba abemnye? Izibhalo zide zithi imisiwe nje imihla yakhe nguYehova, uyalazi nenani leenyanga zakhe, umenzele umda wakhe ongenakugqithwa.’

Ndazithuthuzela ngatshoyo, ndiphalaza imbilini yam ngosiba ndinyembezana intlungu ibhalwe ebusweni. Eyona nto ndandiyibona ukuba yayisele imkhathaza uBhele ngexesha lokugula kwakhe yayizingcinga zokushiya inzala yakhe igcwele lonke eli limiweyo, isathe sa okwamathole ezagwityi.

Wayeke abuze ukuba bayotshona phi na ooPhindile? UPhindile ke ngumkhuluwa wam owalekelwa NguNosiphiwo, kuze uXolela ibe ndim iphelo. UNosiphiwo yena wabasemzini naye esendela kwaba bantu baphesheya kwenciba. Nalomtshato wakhe abazali azange baziswe nabakhokeli enkonzweni beva sekusithwa utshatile. Ndatsho ngalomini ndathi usisi uzifaka ethuthwini elinamalahle ashushu, eliseza kuvusa umlilo mhla lagqutha. Ndatsho ndathi uzibizela unomnganga , ngokusuke atshate bengayazi lonto abantu abadala.

Kaloku thina umyeni sasimazi ecelwa kwamkhokeli, hayi le yosuke utshate wakuva ucacile, engayazi lonto umkhokeli wakho, ufike sewuqhayisa usithi ‘tata nditshatile.’ Utshate ngamandla kabani? Yiyo lonto iqhawuka kangaka lemitshato.

UPhindile ke lo ongumkhuluwa wam nongoyena mdala ekhaya. Wayengumntu owayehambe eyofuna amadlelo aluhlaza neliqhosha lingenamthunja eRhawutini. Wayesaziphangelela naye uBhele ngeloxesha. Oko wayemke ngoko akazange aphinde abuye, nathi asizange siphinde sive nokuva kuye, kunani ukubhala? Akazange asibhalele nakweleswekile iphepha.

Emveni kokuba umphefumlo kaBhele wahlukene nenyama mna ndaqale ndaziva izingqi zochitha-chitho zingqingqiza zizama ukuwudiliza umzi waseMabheleni. Kaloku kuthwa intsika ingawa bashiyeka besesichengeni abasendlini. Nalapha eMabheleni kwabanjalo.

Emveni kokuba engasasekho uBhele, engekayobekwa nobekwa kwikhaya lakhe lokugqibela, abahlali baqale basela okwengqolowa kwakho nezinto ezithethekayo ngomama, kuba kaloku abantu ngondaba zabantu.

“Akhange ndike ndimbone elila lamfazi ukubonakalisa ukuba ubuhlungu yinto yokushiywa ngumyeni. Hayi inokuba umtye ngokwakhe umyeni wakhe, asozuve.”

Zabakhona nezitshoyo iintetho phofu, kungakhathalelwe ukuba kuve bani ngoku kuthetheka ezo zinto. Ezo ntetho zada zayofikelela ezindlebeni zika mama.

Kodwa kwezo zinto zonke uThixo wabaPostile wema nanjengo Thixo wasikhunga wasinika amandla okuginya noba kuyakrakra. Kulapho ndabona khona ukuba liyinyani elithi xa umntu wangaphandle engcikivwa, esiva ubuhlungu esenziwa zonke izinto, owangaphakathi uyahlaziyeka .Wayeke atsho ke uBhele zakubangathi ziyamongamela iintlungu, acaphule kwezika Yobhi athi, “Mna ndiyamazi umhlawuleli wam uhleli, engowokuphela uyakusuka eme phezu kwethuli lwehlabathi. Emveni kokuba ulusu lwam ludlavulwe lwanje, ingasekho inyama yam, ndiyakumbona uThixo, Endiya kuzibonela mna ngokwam, amehlo am ambone ingabi wumbi.”

Lo mazwi ngawo ayesinika ithemba lokuba isezakuphinde ime ngenyawo zayo zombini lendedeba yase Mabheleni, kanti ngalo lonke eloxesha umf’omkhulu wayethetha noThixo wakhe. Kwintsuku ezandulela ezi zokusishiya kwakhe uBhele yayingathi ngumntu lo uzaziyo ukuba uzakuyixwaya eyakhe ibhatyi aye koyisemkhulu. Washiya eyaleze kwanto, nditsho netayitile yendlu satsho sayazi ukuba iphi, into ewayengaqhelanga kuyenza ke phofu.

Ngeloxesha lezo ziganeko ingqondo yafa fi, asizange siyicinge eyokuba uyayolela umf’omkhulu, kum emveni kokusweleka kwakhe kwaqale kwathi qatha lomini.

Ukufa yenye into nyhani. Kwandisebenza aph’entloko ndakubona apha kum, kwanditsho ndalibala noba ndinentombi endihlekisana nayo. Zade zagqitha iintsuku ezimbini zilandelelana kungekho nto ithi mandifownele uBabalwa.

Ukuswelekelwa ngumzali yayingekokuphela kwento eyayindikhathaza, nalento kaBabalwa nalantwana kuthwa nguSiya nayo yayinento eyenzayo emphefumlweni wam. Enye ke iyile mfazwe yobukhaya sasiyilwa namakhwenkwe aseNew Rest. Kaloku kuba ndandingumhlali waseChris Hani ndifunda eIhlumelo, ndandingavumelekanga ukuba ndisuke ndibonwe ndihamba eNew Rest.

Yilento ke ndandisithi xa kufuneke ndiyobona uBabalwa eNew Rest ndivele ndingqunge ndingazazi nokuba mandithini, kuba kaloku ndandisiya kwilizwe lokuphambukela kwaFaro. Xa ndisiya pha wawundibona ngoduda ukubonakalisa ukuba ndiya kwanja ziyaluma, intliziyo yam yayivele ibande nkce xakufuneke ndiye eNew Rest. Yiyo lonto ndaphela ndicela uBabalwa ukuba abondikhawulela eme ngaseLibrary kuba ke bona noko babevumelekile ukuba bangene eMbekweni.

Kwathi ngolusuku sagqiba kwelokuba sidibane mna noBabalwa, sasisele sithethile emnxebeni mna naye sasizodibanela ngase Library, njengoko bona bantwana bangamantombi babeyifumana inyhweba yokungena eMbekweni. Kuba kakade abona bantu babesilwa imfazwe yobukhaya yayikwasithi thina bafana.

Ngolusuku ke ilanga lase Pere njengesiqhelo lalibilisa amanzi engabaselwanga, likhupha intlanzi elunxwemeni. Nangona kwakunjalo ndandizixelele ukuba nokuba lingatshisa lithini elase Pere ndizodibana naye uBabalwa. Ngendlela endandimkhumbula ngayo ndandingenakunqandwa nayinyikima uqobo lwayo, futhi ndazixelele ukuba enye nenye ndizakuyibona ngobuya, nanjengoko umsebenzi wawumninzi endlini izinto ezifana nokutshayela iyadi nentente zazijongene nam nomkhuluwa wam uXolela.

Kulo msebenzi mninzi ndazixelela ukuba ndiyaya kuBabalwa kumnyama kubomvu. Yaqhankqalaza yaxel’uNowa ngeemini zomgwebo le yakuthi, ndabangathi ndiyazama ukucenga wabe engazibambi ezo owam umkhuluwa. Ntonayo wayemane endihlaba ngombuzo omnye othi, “Uwushiya nabani lomsebenzi mngaka?” Ndacenga ndizama ukumcela umkhuluwa wabe engafuni nokuva.

“He mfondini uwujongile umsebenzi ukuba ungakanani ngoku ungxamele ukuya entombini? Mna kengoku ndincediswe ngubani kulomsebenzi walapha mninzi? Kuba nawe uyabona ukuba ndimnye kabawo.”

“Andizuhlala maan, ndizakukhawuleza ndibuye. Sendimfownele lamntana ndathi ndiyeza, andinobasakwazi ukujika ngoku,”

“Mxm awufun’uxelelwa ke wena Skhumbuzo. Hamba yiya kulanto ikwenza isiporho sayo idlala ngawe, kucacile ukuba kubaluleke yona mos, le yenzeke aph’endlini awuyikhathalelanga,”

Watsho ngomsindokazi ebilel’uhluzwa umf’omkhulu, wakugqiba wandishiya apho ndibhuqwa ngumvandedwa ndidanile. Kodwa nangona kunjalo ndabangathi ndingumntu lo utyelw’ivamna nguBabalwa, kuba ndagwegweleza ngezimfutshane ukuyodibana naye ngaseLibrary emva kwentsuku singasabonani.

Ukufika kwam ngase Library ndafika andambona uBabalwa, noko ke yayingafani tu naye into yongalibambi ixesha. Ndabheka-bheka ndijonge enkalweni kwelolanga lase Pere litshisa ngokwenyani kodwa azange athi gqi. Imizuzu yahamba yayiyure ndihleli phantsi komthi womkhiwane esasidla ngokuhlala kuwo ingakumbi xa litshisayo ilanga.

Ndathi xa sendicinga nokugoduka wathi gqi enyoshoza ke phofu, engahambi yedwa ehamba nalo Siya ndini, encume oluka bhlankethi eveze neliya lokugqibela izinyo. Bathi xa bebusondela ndabona kuthethwa ngamehlo; lo Siya waphuma ndlela yimbi, yena uBabalwa wathi chu ukuza kum engabonakali njengomntu oyidaneleyo le yokundilindisa ixesha elide. Into awayenzayo kukundanga walandelisa ngathi:

“Uyayazi ukuba ndiyakuthanda mos?”

Nam ndasuke ndanyibilika kwaphela nalomsindo ndandinawo, nam ndenjenjalo ukuzibika ukumthanda umntanomntu kodwa yabe intliziyo yam ingavumi ncam itsalela kwelayo icala. Kumhla ndabona ukuba uthando ayilulo ukuba lusathethwa ngomlomo, kuba umlomo unamaxesha okunganyaniseki. Uthando lokwenyani alunamkhethe futhi aluthethwa ngomlomo lubonakala ngezenzo.

Olu lwam noBabalwa yayingekabilulo uthando kuba sasisaluthetha ngomlomo. Nam ngexesha ndandiqala ukumbona ndandicinga ndiqhutywa luthando, kuba ndandibona intombi emile kakuhle, enefiga, enoncumo oluhle, kanti lonke eloxesha ndiqhutywa zinkanuko zenyama.

Sathi sakugqiba ukuncola mna no Babalwa ndamkhapha ke sathi chu, sathu sakufika kumda owahlula iWellington ne Mbekweni ndajika ke mna ndaphindela ekhaya. Ndathi xa ndibusondela ndasuke ndaxuxuzelelwa sisisu kodwa ndaqhubeka ndahamba.

Ndathi xa sele ndifikile ndabona ngaphambi kwentente kume imoto ebomvu eluhlobo lwe BMW 350i lamhlobo mdala, ndazibuza ngaphakathi ukuba inoba yekabani. Lombuzo wasuka wajika wangumbuzo buciko kuba ndandingade ndiphume nayo impendulo.

Ndangena phakathi endlini ndothuka ndaphantse uyokuwa xa ndandibona umntu endamgqibela kudala.

***

Yitsho: Ingaba ngubani lo ufikileyo? Ucinga ntoni ngndlela uBabalwa amphethe ngayo uSkhumbuzo? Ubuzakuthini wena unguye?

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