The school that Nhlanhla attended was still far, but the journey was manageable. She had a cousin that went to a school that was the same distance as her own, so they walked together. It wasn’t long though before her cousin’s parents could afford to pay for transport, so Nhlanhla no longer had a walking partner.
It was cool for Nhlanhla to be living with her mother for the first time. The mother had two jobs and worked shifts. Nhlanhla did not mind that mommy always brought leftovers from the restaurant job she had, where she washed dishes.
Her mother would share with the cousins whenever she brought food from work, but they never shared some of theirs with Nhlanhla, even when she didn’t have any. Her mother did not notice this since she was always at work and Nhlanhla decided not to tell her mother. She would just go to school without lunch when her mother had a morning shift, which made her leave home very early when everyone was still asleep.
It wasn’t long till Nhlanhla noticed she wasn’t treated or talked to like other children. Even the great grandmother had nasty things to say. It became hard to stay in that house, seeing that Nhlanhla had a big mouth and her big mouth led her to vicious hidings from anyone older than her in that household. Nhlanhla always wondered why. What was wrong with her?
It got worse when even the mother would say horrible things to her. They would lie to her about Nhlanhla behaving badly and she would not ask and just give her a hiding.
Nhlanhla’s fear got really bad. And she had found out she had no father, that her father denied her. She would hear words that meant she wasn’t one of them and did not belong. She started getting angry at her mother and herself. Nhlanhla began having suicidal thoughts. She became so fearful that any mistake she made terrified her. She feared her family, friends, teachers, but mostly she feared her mother. The mother was always telling her how she regretted having her. This sent Nhlanhla deeper into her depression, at the bottom of the bottle of depression.
On one particular day, Nhlanhla resorted to telling a lie instead of owning up to a mistake.
She was a very clever girl, very active and confident, but life at home turned her into a shy and forever crying slacker with nothing to say. That day Nhlanhla misspelled a word, something that never happened before. She tried to erase the word, which led her to having a hole in her book and made her work very unclean. Nhlanhla could not send her book to be marked because she was ashamed.
Then the lies began.
She told the teacher she forgot her book at home. Teachers got tired of her stories and her mother never coming when called. Obviously Nhlanhla never told her mother, for she was afraid of the mother’s anger towards her. Then she was sent home to fetch her book regardless of the distance.
Off Nhlanhla went home.
She knew what waited for her at home. Her mother was home since she was on night duty that week. Nhlanhla knew that she would be getting a hiding and even though she got the hiding almost every day, it was still painful – ayijwayeleki induku (you never get used to getting a hiding).
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Tell us: What would you do if you were Nhlahla?