The following week on Tuesday, I was alone with my father. Drunk as he was, his stench disgusted me and I stayed in my room and texted Ababalo, my classmate.

Later that night, Baba came into the room. He was still drunk and he stank, but he was crying.

“Ngiyaxolisa Thando, uZanele ankangifuni!” he shouted climbing on my bed. I was terrified. He held my thigh. I kicked him and when I tried to run, he grabbed my wrist and threw me back on the bed.

“BABA NGYEKELE!” I shouted as I panicked. I was screaming, but no one could hear me. No one could see what he was doing as he tried to pull my skirt off and I kicked him again. I just wanted to run away. I wanted to disappear. I hated him. I wanted him to go back to wherever he came from. I prayed in my heart. He wouldn’t stop touching me. I felt sick. I felt dirty. Like a pig.

“NGYAKUCELA BABA, DON’T DO THIS!!” I said as I kicked him and punched him. He wouldn’t budge; he was three times the size I was. I could hardly breathe with this monster on top of me. I cried my loudest. Begged for mercy, “PLEASE BABA…. HELP!!!” He closed my mouth when he tried to silence me as he ripped my T-shirt.

“UYENZELANI KODWA LENTO BABA?” I screamed, when suddenly he fell to the other side of the bed.

“Mama is here, Thando. Don’t cry,” Mama said to me as she helped me up.

She looked at Baba. “Uyinja Jabu!” she shouted. “You’re a dog, Jabu!” and we walked to the kitchen where she made me a cup of tea.

“Thando, I’m sorry,” she first said. “We shouldn’t have left. We wouldn’t be like this if we had stayed. We would have a normal life, but I forced Jabu to follow me to the city. I was only looking for greener pastures,” she said and tears started falling from her face much faster than her words. “I love you and I want us to be happy, futhi. It’s just sad that uJabu turned into this monster. Please don’t hate him. He is still your father.”

I lay that night awake on my bed. I didn’t feel safe. I felt that any moment from now, he would come in and attempt to hurt me again. I felt so much hate in my heart. I felt so afraid. It’s as though my father had become a stranger to me. It’s as if the man I knew had drowned in the alcohol and this new man was a criminal. A waste of time and effort. I lost hope. He was dead to me. I was going to forget all about him. I stood up. I knew where I was going. I first checked on Mama and kissed her on her forehead before I dashed into the dark.

“What are you doing here?” Molutsi asked me.

“Baba tried to rape me. I got angry. I can’t sleep. I missed you,” I said as I hugged him. I could tell that he was shocked… I would be too. I know things like these happen every day, but to me? By my own father? It sounded like a dream. A nightmare.

We kissed and kissed until I fell on the couch. “Ouch!” I shouted.

Something was hurting me and I recognised it instantly. Molutsi panicked and he stood up. “Lerato’s lip gloss!” My heart sank. “What is it doing here?”

“She came earlier on, to copy notes,” he said.

“I didn’t know you guys were friends?” I snapped: “You’re not even in the same grade, which notes did she copy?”

He started shaking and his nose turned pink. “I can explain… she came to ask about you.”

“How does she know where you live?” I asked.

He looked down. He couldn’t look me in the eyes and when he finally did, he said. “I can’t lie to you.”

“But Mo, you already have.” I cried. “You hurt me! Why Mo? I thought you loved me. I thought you cared. Lerato? Out of all the girls you could…”

He covered my lips with his and got me to keep quiet. He tamed my anger. He made me love him again.

***

The holidays were near and the stress of the examinations taking place had finally cleared. Now we just had to wait and see if all our hard work had finally paid off. Lerato’s stomach was starting to show. She couldn’t hide it anymore and everybody at school had found out. The news was spreading faster than a nude pic on Facebook. She couldn’t bear the fact that she was being judged, so she hardly came to school that month. She wrote her exams in the sickroom.

I hardly saw her anymore and she was never at home. I don’t know where she went, but I felt uncomfortable because whenever she was not around. Molutsi was also out doing something that I didn’t know of. I was getting suspicious. What made me more suspicious was always finding something of hers in his house. I hate fighting so I never really pointed it out and when I did, he always had the right words to say. I hated this. I didn’t want to ask why this was happening because in my mind, I had worked it all out but I didn’t want to accept this. I didn’t want to dig and find out that I was right. It was going to kill me if what I thought was happening was actually happening, so I ignored it.

Until that one afternoon. I swore I’d never go back to Molutsi. I swore he was history. And so was Lerato. I had knocked at the door. I was so excited. This was finally it. It was happening. I didn’t know what to do, really, but I trusted Molutsi and I felt I was finally ready. I loved him and that’s all that mattered. I hated the fact that I had made him wait for so long. I wanted him to see me. All of me.

“Thando!” he panicked.

I smiled. “I’m ready!” I said as I held him and when I tried to kiss him, he pushed me away. I was shocked. Alarmed. What was going on?

“What are you doing?” he snapped.

“I missed you. And I finally thought about your request,” I said.

“I can’t. Not now. I am busy,” he said. He was angry.

“OK. Let me in. I’ll wait.”

“No! Please go. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. OK?” He was chasing me away! A part of me could not believe him. I just couldn’t. I pushed him aside and went right in. “UKHUPI?” I shouted. “Where is she?”

He got angrier and before I knew it, his fist flung out and went past my face and onto the wall. This was real. Not a dream. This was my Molutsi, aiming his fist at me.

“Uyenzani?” I heard a quiet voice say. When I turned to see who it was, I saw Lerato.

Rubbing her stomach. It was happening, here and now. This was not a dream.

“I’m sorry, TT”

Molutsi was as red as an over-ripe tomato. Shaking and trembling with fear.

“Wat gaan aan?” I asked.

They both stood there as if they were frozen. Silence loomed around us. They couldn’t look me in the eye and everyone just kept quiet. I got tired of waiting. I noticed that they were not ready to speak. Even though I had imagined what words I would utter when this happened after I figured it out, I was completely shocked and I couldn’t say anything.

I just looked at them before I left them there, together.

***

Tell us: Is she going to lose her best friend AND her boyfriend? Do you think it’s fair that they both lied to her?