Dear diary – 26th November

I woke up early as I had to prepare for my graduation day, and Shaquille was graduating the following day. He promised that after school we were going to start our lives abroad. I said a little prayer and checked on my phone, and to my surprise, there was no text or call from him.

I called him to check if he was OK. He and Aunty Tess were going to represent my family since I had no one. My call didn’t go through, that was strange. I tried his sister but the same happened. Time waits for no man so I had to get ready for what I thought was a big day. I went to Aunty Tess.

“Aunty, he’s not going to drive you anymore,” I said with tears. “Shaq-uille is not going with you anymore,” I broke down.

“Why is that?”

“He is caught up with some work,” I lied.

“You know that is not true, tell me what is wrong my child,”

“Neither him nor his sister is picking up their phone.”

“Come here,” she held both my hands, “today is your big day and no one is going to ruin it for you, not even that young man! I am going to be here from the beginning till the end. I suggest you wipe those tears and get your pretty ass out of here, the car is waiting for you outside,” she assured me, smiling.

I hugged her tightly and went to the taxi, trying to convince myself that maybe he will surprise me somehow. But he never did at all. I waited and waited until I was called out. I looked over the empty chair next to Tess and everything seemed to be a lucid dream. I know I wasn’t dreaming but nothing made sense.

I found out they sold the store and the house. For the second time in my life I lost everything I cared about. All the promises seemed to be fading and all I wanted was the answers but no one was giving me any. I tried everything but nothing led me to their whereabouts.

Months went by trying but nothing was leading me to the truth. I spent most of my time alone listening to our playlist and crying myself to bed every chance I got. It was hard until I got one call that changed my life. It was a job interview I was looking forward to and I know I had to pick myself up and start living my life.

I started by removing all his painting on my walls and deleting everything that reminded me of him. I started my new job though I wasn’t fit enough to be a psychologist, but I assisted the well-known one in the area.

After six months I was fit enough to be on my own. I opened my own place with my inheritance and started working. The focus was being a better psychologist.

After three and half years life was amazing. Though guys often tried their luck, I had no love left in me. All I cared about was assisting my patients and I occasionally visited Tess since I moved out of that flat. I always felt great when I was with her. She would advise me to take as many years as I liked to heal and that was all I needed to hear.

It was a sunny day so I took a warm shower and prepared myself for work. I had a new patient who didn’t mention his name and he asked to be the last patient I attended. As I was left alone packing my things and looking through tomorrow’s schedules, I heard the door cracked open.

“Sorry we’re closed,” I said, focusing on the shelves.

“My moon!”

My heart stopped beating for a moment. I felt my legs failing my body, I stood there frozen, couldn’t move nor speak. I wanted so bad to wake up from this nightmare. I know he was never going to come back, so I closed my eyes so tightly, hoping that when I open them I won’t be here. But I wasn’t dreaming. It was all real.

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