The second court date came. The nervousness was still present and the looming tension of standing in the witness stand grew with each passing second. That day I had a little more support than the previous time. My husband’s cousin came along for moral support. Till this day I can’t thank him enough for being there and his wife for the support they give me. I sat quietly in the waiting area as the men around me talked. The prosecutor came to talk to us. He said that they will try to get my attacker to sign a plea for fifteen years and explained the proses. If he confessed and signed the deal, I did not need to go on the witness stand. Nervously, I waited for the day to begin.

As in the previous court appearance, we sat through a few cases being postponed. I made jokes to hide my nervousness and read to keep me from thinking about the proceedings going on in front of me. The same rage took over my husband as the case was called and the accused came from the cells below. Tension filled me and my chest constricted, again I could not sit still; I fidgeted. My eyes fixed on the judge.

My attacker never looked behind him and I felt sorry for this young man throwing his life away. I could just imagine the sorrow his family felt and the way his daughter would have to grow up without her father. Then I thought of how cruel someone had to be if they had a small child and it took nothing for them to threaten someone else’s children. I could not fathom how someone could want or try to kill another human being or someone as small as a child.

I had no idea what I would say when I had to give my testimony and how I would be able to stand in front of a person that took so much from me. I knew with the support I had I would be able to do it and I knew God gave me the strength to get through it. God gave me so much more in return.

Mercifully I did not have to give my testimony and I felt relieved to know that I was spared the trauma of going through this emotional roller-coaster again. We waited for the prosecutor and the defence attorney to work out the details on the plea agreement and my attacker sat on the benches waiting with the prison guards. I remember hearing the one woman telling him that he should have tried to fight the plea as he could have gotten a lesser sentence or none at all.

I think I got mad at her rather than the person she said it to.

I felt flabbergasted at how she could say it loudly enough so everyone could hear. I remember my husband’s cousin pointed out how easily my attacker could over power the guards as they sat beside him talking to him as if they are old friends. The pistols in their holsters were not even clipped. Thoughts ran through my head as he said it and I could imagine how the first person he would shoot was me. I felt the fear creep up my spine as I saw all those flashes I saw when I was locked in that bedroom, months ago. I felt the same feeling of being afraid that I would never see my children again, as I did when the ambulance took me away.

We got moved to the waiting area and my husband’s cousin stayed to listen to the proceedings inside the court as the witnesses/victims are not allowed to be inside the courtroom when the accused gave his plea. He pleaded guilty on three counts of robbery and attempted murder. I had mixed feelings again as they said we can enter the courtroom again to hear the sentencing. I knew the plea said fifteen years, but we hoped it was just for my case, I did not suspect what came.

My attacker was never supposed to be free at the time he attacked me. He had a five year suspended sentence in Durban and again he was caught and again he was set free with another five year suspended sentence making it a jail sentence of ten years that he did not serve and the court never caught on to. A few months later he moved to Witbank and within four months he started to steal and rob houses throughout the town. The evidence showed he robbed places within weeks of each other and just a few days after my stabbing, he was robbing and stealing again. I was the only one he attacked. I was disgusted and disappointed to know that all this could have been prevented.

I felt sick to my stomach and when they presented my case it only got worse.

Then the Judge said he deserves another chance. He said he was so young and still had a future as he had his grade twelve certificate and he should think of his child. I tried to look her in her eyes the whole time and it felt like she tried to speak to us rather than the one that was accused. She went on telling him that he should take the opportunity to further his education as he could study for free.

As she continued, I could feel the pit of my stomach turn into an abyss. I had a gut feeling she was not going to sentence him for as long as we thought. I felt like shouting: “What about me and my children!? We deserve more than your pity to a person that clearly thinks he can literally get away with murder.” I wished that I could describe the shock I felt as she talked to him, as if she wanted to encourage this person; as if he just had the biggest setback in life.

The Judge looked at us and told us that her judgement is final and that anyone who tries to take the law into their own hands will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. Then she proceeded with the sentencing. She gave him a three-year suspended jail sentence for breaking and entering into our home because it goes hand in hand with the attempted murder charge. She gave him six years for the attempted murder charge. I felt tears forming in my eyes, knowing that he deserved more. He got three years in a robbery of twenty thousand rand’s worth of goods. He got another six years for an eighty-thousand rand robbery.

I felt like the Judge just told me: “You my dear are eighty-thousand rand’s worth. Your kids and you are no more worth than a house robbery.” It felt like she literally took her hand and slapped me in my face. With her sentencing she brought back all the feelings I worked so hard to get over and it was one big gaping hole trying to swallow me whole.

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Tell us what you think: What do you think of the judges words and sentencing? Should this man have gotten a longer sentence? Was the judge too lenient?