My relationship with Ryan was flourishing, until I came across his student card. I do not know what made me look at it, but I found out that he was two years younger than me when I did. I knew that love had no age, but I was against it. Younger guys always made older women their sugar mamas. Most of them benefited from the woman, but, that time, I was the being spoiled. I was the one who benefited.
The issue about Ryan’s age lingered in my mind, and it weighed heavy on me. I wanted us to break off our relationship, but I had a lot of ‘what if’s’ in my mind, and I could not concentrate on our moments together. Ryan noticed what was happening, then he started treating me with more care. When he did that, I knew I had to keep on hanging in there.
Ryan was in the second year, I was still in the first year, but we did different courses. I was doing Accounting and he was doing Mechanical Engineering. One day, he drove his father’s Ferrari to pick me up for a date, then he left me in the car while he rushed to buy snacks at the garage. That was when I found myself rummaging through his things and seeing his student card.
“Are you okay?” Ryan asked as he started the engine.
I nodded with my mouth open in response, then we left. When we arrived at the park near the zoo, I wondered if his age was going to affect me, but I was already dating him. What if he was like those other Ben 10’s who just wanted to eat the cookie and leave? We had not had sex at the time, but he was planning for us to do so.
“Baby, what is it?” Ryan asked while removing his seatbelt slowly.
While he was speaking, I was not there and I felt anxious. “Let’s go,” I responded, and my voice sounded sorrowful. Before I got out of the car, his hand grabbed me. “It’s nothing,” I said, looking outside and avoiding his eyes.
“If you say so,” Ryan said. Then he jumped out the car, and I joined him. But I could see that he was not happy with the response I had given him. He knew that I was pretending.
Once we were outside, Ryan spread a soft pink blanket on the green grass, and I threw myself on it. I landed hard on the ground, but, luckily, the grass shielded me.
“Tired?” Ryan asked, and I chuckled in response as I watched him decorate on the blanket with flowers in a glass, snacks, juice, ice cream, strawberries, chocolates, and a buffet of finger food. His handsome face and muscles still brought chills down my spine, so I fluttered! “Baby, you know you’re the centre of my heart,” he said.
While Ryan was speaking, I wondered if he was asking me or telling me. I nodded in response, grabbed a handful of snacks, and threw them in my mouth. There was a sound of chirping birds in the trees, and I looked up searching for them
“I mean it,” Ryan added.
I gave him my full attention, and I wondered why I felt like it was all a joke. I pouted and sulked, then he assured me that he meant it. “Wow, thanks baby!” I said, then I kissed his cheek and blushed. The excitement lingered in my head, and when I was processing it, excitement sprang to my face.
“You know, I know you’re older than me,” Ryan said calmly.
I stopped chewing to see where he was heading with his statement. How did he know I was worried about his age? While I was thinking, I wondered if he had some sort of magical powers or something.
“Just know that I love you!” Ryan added. “Please don’t worry about my age. Let us love each other and see where it heads.”
I smiled as he brushed my cheeks with his soft fingers. Maybe that was what true love was after all. I had forgotten that we were a month into our relationship, and that he wanted us to celebrate it. I thought he was just spoiling me. I wanted more of him, so we lay on the blanket, watching the sky with our hands entwined.
It was all a dream come true for me, and it was the kind of relationship I wanted. My partner was not supposed to be shy to kiss me in public or to walk around with his hands on my waist. Most black men do not do that because they say it is not decent, and some of them do not do it because of their cheating ways.
My parents never walked in public while holding hands, and I wondered why. But that was what I wanted, and I had gotten it. I not only wished the moment would last, I wanted it to be a lifetime. I hoped we would get married, but I had doubts that lingered at the air. I knew that surprises could come our way, and that I could never truly know a person. But I would not let it distract me, so I put it aside for later.
**********
After our date, Ryan made sure I got home safely, but my mother was not happy that I had arrived home after midnight.
“What’s wrong with you these days?” my mother shouted as I entered through the back door.
I had used the back door in order to avoid the noise made by the front door. My mother was waiting for me in the kitchen. She was sipping something hot, and I saw the steam floating from it. She loved hot chocolate at night.
“I’m sorry mama,” I said remorsefully.
Before saying anything further, my mother stood looking at me as if she was checking if I was hurt or harmed. “Where were you?” she asked, worried.
“I was with my boyfriend,” I responded shyly. I was always an honest child, and I hated lying to her anyway.
“Bring that boy, I want to see him,” a voice said from behind my mother.
I looked over my mother’s shoulder and saw my father standing on the dark threshold. My mother’s jaws dropped, as if she contested against what my father had said.
“I’ll bring him,” I said, hoping they would let me go to sleep.
“Baba, our culture does not allow us to do that,” my mother gushed at my father, but he shook his head.
“I hope you aren’t sleeping with him,” my mother added.
I chuckled and held my bag tightly while my legs trembled. It was not a topic I wanted to discuss with my parents. They never spoke about sex, it was a forbidden word!
“I haven’t mama,” I responded, and she took in a deep sigh. I trembled further, wondering what was coming next.
“Bring that boy home, and we will see if you are doing the right thing,” my father said.
I nodded in response, and my father motioned with his hand for me to go to bed. I quickly rushed to bed because I was scared he would beat me. I could not sleep that night, so I just stared at the ceiling, questioning what was going to happen the next day.
***
Tell us: How do you think her parents are going to react to the fact that she is dating someone from a different race?