I thought you were my friend
I thought you cared for me
What changed
What made you this monster?
I can’t believe that I actually trusted you
I can’t believe that I always felt comfortable when you were around
I knew I was always protected because you always had my back
Little did I know that you had your own intentions with me

Remember the day you forced yourself on me
That day, I didn’t know who I was
Who you were
Or what was happening
That day you opened a door of pain
You stopped me from living a normal life
You actually took everything I had

Tears rolled down my face
Touched the same ground where my helpless body lay
With no possible way to escape
I struggled
I struggled to release myself from you
And you told me not to make any fuss
Yet I was tormented and violated
You crushed my soul because you believed that
I wanted it as badly as you did

I felt sick looking at you
I blamed myself
I figured I must have done something wrong to deserve this
In my whole entire life, I’ve never felt so cheap and dirty
I have never felt so disgusted
I looked at your face while you took another part of me
You took it all
You took it all away from me
You took one thing I can never get back
You took my dignity away from me
You stole my innocence
You robbed me of my happiness

I don’t think I will look at another man
Without thinking the worst of him
Because you have scarred me for life
You know what hurts most
After what you did to me, you were not penitent
You were not remorseful
You were not even ashamed of what you did to me
You still claimed that I wanted it as badly as you did
Even though I told you countless times
That I didn’t want to give myself to you
Instead you took it all away from me
Your intentions were deliberate
It seemed like your mind was made up
You had planned on raping me

I felt the rough touch of your hands undressing me
I cried but you ignored all my tears
Yet you watched as they rolled down my face
Was my scream not loud enough for you to stop hurting me
Did I not cry enough for you to STOP?
I kept pleading with you to stop
But I guess you’ve gone deaf to my plea for you to stop hurting
I could no longer utter a single word out of my mouth
My throat went dry for you took my voice
You took it all
My innocence was no longer mine to keep

My mind was filled with so much confusion
I thought this was a dream
I wanted someone to wake me up from this terrible nightmare
But I guess this was all reality

What kind of a friend are you
What kind of a human being are you
What kind of a man are you
After everything you have done to me
You still denied it all

No one will ever understand how I felt
Or the horror that I went through
After you stole my innocence
I wanted to hear you say you were sorry
But I guess that was all too much for you
I had to be strong and carry on with my life
I had to wear my scars with pride

I often asked myself how I would ever carry on with my life
Knowing that the only friend I trusted
Only wanted to get into my pants
But wait
You know what
You thought you were breaking me
Instead you were just building a foundation for me
I cannot change the past but I can change what is to come
You made me realise my fears and how strong I am
Now I wear my scars with pride
I will not allow what you did to me define me…
I know the wound you have left me with will never heal
But don’t get it twisted, because I know what to do,
So I do not let it bleed again
After it all I was able to forgive you
Without you asking for forgiveness.