I remember how my heart once raced at the thought of you
I’ve slowed down now
gone and got myself married
this is so wonderful
Yet I still can’t seem to forget you.
I feel like I’m drowning, my head completely under water
and my oxygen quickly depleting.
If confusion was cold,
my fingers would be numb and I wouldn’t be able to ward off the cold
even if I was protected.
If youth was you,
it would be slipping away by the second,
and I can’t get a hold to stop it.
I’m shivering to the bone,
and can’t keep holding on.
but, this is only a poem.
Late at night, I lay awake
thinking of things I should have said,
all the mistakes I’ve made
and signs I should’ve read.
Then I think about what I can’t live without, you.
front and centre in my mind,
sometimes it feels like halfway love
almost, but not quite.
Still, parts of you make me whole.
I think of love letters that weren’t torn up
feelings of blue and green.
When I’m without you
I’m like a blank canvas, sometimes void of any meaning,
but still the potential to move on to something greater.
I realise how dependent I’ve grown
and feel the need to create a distance.
But I still cannot forget you
Me who loved all of you,
but you left me wanting more,
even though you had no love to give me.
Show me you are different.
show me you will not leave bruises on my throat
from holding me closely, too tightly.
but show me you want me.
Tell me, not my inner thighs.
because I want to show you I want this too.
I want to be there when you look at the sunset
and realise it’s the most beautiful thing on this earth.
I want to be there when it is hard to breathe
because sometimes it’s hard to love in a world
that only does bad.
show me you want this too.