I never knew
I never noticed
I never experienced

Although I was poor, I never knew
Although I was innocent, I never noticed
Although I was young, I never experienced

They named me Nobengazi, because I was poor
They fight and tell me lies because of my innocence
They beat me, dragging me by the scruff of my neck, because I was a child.

I question this culture, why?

I was 14 years old at the time
but it felt like I was 56 and a half.
I knew nothing about being a mother
but the situation was leading me there.

I was full of scars
I was like an abandoned bundle that no one cares for.
It feels like I’m invisible with the naked eye.

I question this culture, why?

Insults were my breakfast
Abuse was my supper
Thinner was my first name
Thinnest was my last name
HIV, STIs, TB, cholera … and so on.
They were all in me.

I question this culture, why?

Being bruised with lots of scars was nothing to me
I got that every single night.
It was easier to say things
but hard to do them.

I question this culture, why?

I became a mother of eight kids
My first-born became a mother of six
My second-born became a mother of four
This future was already settled for them…

I question this culture, why?

Having a parents was like a dream, a hope, a wish for me.
I’ve never had someone to take care and responsibility for me.
I have had no one to stop the kind of abuse I have suffered.

I question this culture, why?

Getting deep down, to my heart’s desire,
My heart has always beat so fast.
No one knows where the enemies come from
or from which side.
When I had my last born eighth child…
I was just about to turn 33 years old.

I question this culture, why?