Love me tender love me sweet!
Oh thank goodness her name is not Oom Piet.

I look deep into her eyes for reassurance.
Oh my goodness, she’s trying to sell me insurance.

Love me tender love me sweet!
I can’t believe I may have to kiss those feet.

Abruptly she says, “You nice from far, but far from nice.
Oh my goodness! Is that lice?”

Love me tender love me sweet!
Humiliated right there on the street.

Embarrassed and wounded I retreat.
Thank goodness I’ll never have to smell those feet.