Looking deep down my heart
I feel guilt that I don’t understand.
When looking around myself,
All faces I see aren’t happy,
They can’t even look at my eyes.
I wonder and question,
What wrong have I done.
My heart dwells in the hands
Of father in the heavens
Yet I feel it sinking deep down,
Beneath the earth.
Shame is all I feel but not desire.
I desired lots of things but
Lots I have never had in my life.
To give was my life;
To help was my life;
Generosity is all I ever knew.
I touched hearts and blessed hearts
But mine was scratched and crossed.
I feel crucified and merely denied.
To be myself is the best I can do.
Isn’t it that we are different?
Isn’t it that new things must be tried?
Rejection is not a proper action;
Uniqueness is not the manner of perfection
But of what granted to one to live.