screams and voices in my head.
brain is deep fried
and my thoughts jumbled and insecure.
nerves toasted,
feeling distorted,
I touch but can’t feel.
desperately looking for balance,
but never attain equilibrium.
my heart racing and always hurting
beating so fast
breath running short
gasping for more air
slowly drowning in my own fears
lungs unsatisfied
the air corrupted with all toxins
it hurts whenever I breathe

voice crumbling,
knees shaking,
throat dry,
tongue thirsty,
muscles weak,
crumbling and envying for strength
scars and bruises on my skin
a drug in my vein
trying to numb the pain I was afraid of facing
faking my emotions
veins cut
blood is dripping
and my room is all bloody

eyes losing sight
wide open but I still can’t see
sleep is scarce
long days
short nights
dreams are haunted
the darkness so deep
it consumes the light in me
even torches burn so dim.
cut brakes,
slashed tires,
loose nuts and bolts
everything is a mess,
shaking and collapsing

glass shattering and smashing
bones and souls breaking
knuckles cracking
guns cocking
bottled chemical reactions
time-bombs clicking and exploding
pictures printed with blood
history rewritten
peace is jailed
war is free
It digs holes deep enough to bury me
together with my shadow