Oh what a lovely
Goal that was
Almost as lovely
As the tall dark
And lovely player
Who scored –

Oh what a lovely
Try that was
Pity though that
The hooker who
Dotted down is
Not a good-looker

Oh what a lovely
Constitution we have
So sexy as it stands
For all to admire
Just standing there

So sexy we can
Serve it up like
A Serena Williams shot
Wearing a little pink –
(like our boys do blue)

So sexy we can
Still have the abuse
Of our women and children
Soon to be aggravated
By Africa’s f-extravaganza

Which leads one
To the groin injury
Of an English star
Not described anywhere
By sporting journalists as –

Oh what a lovely

Oh what a lovely mind
Beautiful in its thoughts
Elegantly-shaped to reason

So much so that I
Want to engage it
In intercourse
Of the intellectual type

Oh what a lovely idea
Ensconced in our laws
For everyone to see
(we are all equal before)

So much so that we
Embrace it in its beauty
And even ritually practise
What it preaches

Oh what a lovely