Melusi
A touchdown
Stamp
A mark
It’s official
I did it
A victory
High
Cry
I’ve cried
Stayed up
Studied
Toiled
All night
Morning
Tomorrow
The next day
Ten month
Next to hell
Headaches
Migraines
Seeing blank
No exam paper
Sweat
Loss of breath
Anxiety
Panic
Terrors
Night terrors
Prayers
Lots of prayers
Mama’s prayers
Her church group prayed
Even my never-sleeps-at-home brother
Prayed
My ex-boyfriend came
Said if I failed he’d know it’s because I turned
Gay
I prayed even more
Pondered
Why
Is this why
Only three
Three people in my street
Have been here
Do the rest die
Along the way
Does it get worse
More tests
Pressure cooker
Head explodes
Is that why they’re all on tik
To feel their heads
Cool off
Calm
Think
Are they looking for peace
Some say I’m cursed
Voodoo juju in the works
Mama says to go to church
I just pray some more
To my late brother and hope he’s there
Asking him too ‘cause things are bad
No food
No peace
No sleep
But morning came
The sun came
Then the paper came
That’s my name
A roar came
Behind me
Didn’t see Thandi
Her friends
Their friends
Following me
Since our old house
All the way to the shack
Rooting for me
Mama
My sisters
Brother
Hugging me
Kissing me
Crying
Tears
Joy
Everyone
Laughing
Kissing
Talking
Me
Inspiring
Little me
Motivating
Who knew
Loving me
Loving a black woman
With all her flaws
Against all of the odds
Ndilapha
NdinguMalusi