Confidence faded away.
All left was tears covering my cheeks every day.
Heart broken, thrown away to the bushes.
My soul began…to get lost.
Never found, never alert.
My precious smile faded too.
It all felt numb, no reaction to everything.
Inside myself, my body, all was empty.
I couldn’t get hungry or thirsty.
I gave up life.
There was no reason to react any more.
I wasn’t dead!
I was alive!
Just that I wasn’t alive to feel, hear or smile.
My only living was to be there.
To be there for my parents
Who couldn’t recognise my depression and anxiety.
Pain that kept me wary in every phase.
Quiet, numb and self-meditating!
That all felt like real love.