I remember crying hysterically and making my mother worry.
I remember checking my face in the mirror in the morning to see whether it looked obvious
or just fine to go to school.
I felt so much resentment.
I remember cutting my wrist as depression slowly seeped in
blood dripping onto my skirt.
I remember trying my outmost best to hide the scars
even though they’d ache from time to time.
I remember switching the lights off
trying to fight off the urge to cut again
because the pain was just too strong and too bold it
felt like my whole world was collapsing.
I remember when I built strong imaginary sand castles.
I remember, Oh I remember the bitterness.
I remember when I wrote my first poem
in my grandmother’s garden in the Eastern Cape
while everyone was inside enjoying festivities.
It didn’t faze them

But for me that was a heartfelt moment.

***

This piece of writing was created as part of the WritingMe Writing Clubs with Sophumelela High School, Western Cape. Find out more here.