I finally hit the ceiling
Waves of meaningless nothings splash onto my face
I’m overwhelmed, I can’t breathe, I can’t see
Deep in the sea my soul leaves my body for a split second
I realise that it is I who threw myself into battle
Missing my armour
I marvel at individuals conforming to their daily routine
I marvel at my own
So many differences
I cry and I cry again
I lock myself in my head in search of indifference
Because of the waves depriving me of my sight
I cry again
Each tear fades as quickly as it appears
Because waves don’t play that game
They wash away all that is before them
Looking at the mirror I ask the reflection staring back…
“Who are you?”
She stares back at me equally puzzled
And begins to recite a tale of a swan amongst a pack of hens

Desperate to attain the hens’ approval,
She camouflages herself using the perfect disguise
Timid, submissive, empathetic,
Always willing to listen, always willing to lend a hand
Until a day came when her wings poked through the disguise
She felt shame, disgust
She even attempted to chop them off several times,
They would hang from her sides like unwanted furniture
That nobody was willing to buy

The reflection in the mirror reminded me
Of a similar story, one I don’t care for much
It stirs up certain “feelings”
I immersed myself in finding ways
To manoeuvre around those “feelings”
Where they come from, their purpose,
What they’ve done for me
And I finally found the answer
Utilising the same broken, unwanted wings

I could replace negativism with its opposite
I could have a duel with myself and win
I could weave life with my bare hands
I could give a piece of myself and get plenty more in return
I could emit estrogen with just my physical form
I could take a step and shake the earth
I could broadcast positivity with an idea
I had that much power…
It was hidden in the deepest depths of me
And it took a slight merge with nature
For it to be triggered
I look at the reflection in the mirror
She sends me off advocating prosperity
And I walk away holding the key to contentment