It’s been a minute, in this dark room
I’m sinking deep into the not-so-turbulent water
Of my own eyes.
What do I do, I’m drowning.

I try not to blink but the lump in my throat is too much
I reach out for a pen and paper, but every corner of the paper is stained
With tears. I throw my tired body on the floor and break down
The walls keep contracting, or is it my vision?
I try not to scream but these voices in my head are getting louder.
I crawl back to bed but these monsters called flashbacks await me
Where do I go, I’m drowning.

I hear my brother shouting and singing his drunk lungs out
I scream, “Shut up!” his voice grows louder, home doesn’t feel the same any more
My mother is in the living room, reading the Bible and praying,
The kids are peacefully snoring, ignoring the chaos because,
Well, they are too young to care, so I shrink to the cement floor.
Where do I turn to, I’m drowning.

I’m tired of pretending to be happy, I’m dying
I’m shouting from the deepest roots of my heart
I close my eyes, hoping it’s forever but tomorrow’s pain awaits me
So for now I just dive into my tears and drown.