What have I done?
Whom did I offend?
What was my crime?

You’ve taken so much from me
At a very young age, even still now
I have nothing in my pocket but
I am still paying the price.

Every time I talk about my growing up,
I just break into tears, I have no one to talk to,
Every time I trust someone to talk to
They just tell me all will be well.

I know it’s gonna be well
Even if it isn’t I no longer care
I am used to it now, have been experiencing
So much hate in my life, honestly speaking
I don’t know love. Either from my parents or my siblings.

If I had guts I’d have taken my life long, long ago,
But I still have hope of seeing my real smile
Not this pretending. My good heart still cares
About them even though they are not caring.

Maybe I’m just in a wrong world,
Maybe I wasn’t supposed to be living.
I mean every day people die,
And I mean good people and I am still suffering.

Dear God is this what you brought me for?
What is the purpose?
To suffer?
To go through pain and sorrows every day?

I am not questioning your will nor you existence,
But I am going through hell.
I’m even failing to cry any more.

Please set my life free!

***

We are very concerned for the safety of all our readers and writers. Please don’t hesitate to reach out to people when you feel this desperate. LifeLine has a free number you can call to speak to someone who understands: try 0861 322 322 or 021 461 1111. The pain doesn’t have to last forever, you can get help from people who will listen properly.