Your first child,
Hope you heard that name from mom before.
I’m the son you were desperate for,
The child you used to beg for,
Every day when you were with mom.
Become sad when she changed the topic,
Because she was 16 years old, scared
And not ready to be a mom.
The son that you abandoned after being told:
“Sithandwa, I’m 3 months pregnant”
I want to tell you that I’m still alive,
And a grown man now,
Just so sad that…(tears falling)
That woman you impregnated,
Left her alone not knowing what to do, died…
(may her soul rest in peace).
After 27 years depressed,
With no one by her side,
Only the helpless son she she gave birth to.
You got her disowned, remember?
Chased away with me in her tummy
Like a dog with no one to go to.
Remember the money you gave her
To do abortion with?
She used it for something else.
Something would have made you crazy
If you had heard it back then.
She bought me clothes, food and nappies
I wish to know wherever you are,
What kind of a father are you?
If you had found me a sister or brother,
That you were not planning to run away from their mother,
I feel like asking but I’d rather…not
Nc! Nc! Nc! I’m just imagining calling you father,
I’m not so sure if you deserve to be called a father.
But for the sake of this letter this will have to do,
Today I want to know,
I want to know the whole truth,
The whole truth that made you abandon me and mom.
What had I done wrong to you,
To make you hate us and forsake me this much?
I so wish one day you’d come to me
And talk about the 27 years without you,
Talk about everything you put me and my mom through.
Talk about life without you
Talk about how good we were,
Me and mom without you.
Let you know how I wish
You were the one dead, not her
For now this letter ends here.
The Son you Abandoned,