Dear Dada
it shouldn’t be like this
None of this is supposed to be happening
Pictures of you, of us
Memories that haunt my soul revived
Pain that I didn’t think was still there
For all the tears that dropped when
Your coffin went down
Made me assume that
My soul and heart were bound to heal
I thought I’d never shed a tear
Yet whenever one mentions your name
It reminds me of a certain day
That we spent with you
I could feel my heart tearing itself into
Little pieces like the very first time
I was told you were no more
I said ‘no it isn’t supposed to be like this’ due to how
I use to cry myself to sleep
Till the very day I had to
Look you in the face
Knowing deep down you were
Unable to hear or smell the scent of your woman’s perfume
No, this isn’t supposed be happening cause I thought
My heart and soul had healed
I had gotten used to the idea of never seeing you again
It’s so sad that
The only picture of you
Glued to my mind
Is of you
Laying on your back
So still, body cold as ice
Lips cracked
With eyes swollen like
A toddler that cried themselves to sleep
Having to think of all the promises you meant
To keep makes me three times angrier
Than I become when memories of the happy family we once were
See, I am able to recall
Words you uttered
Just before you left
I later realised that
That very minute
You had already
Given up on life.
Forgetting that you had
A 5 month old son
That needed you in his life
Forgetting that someday when he is older
He will be unable to know you
Because you gave up on life too soon
At times I blame you for all bad
That went wrong
How many times we fell and
Stood up without the help of you
Because you were the
Cushion to prevent us
From falling unto the ground
That was covered with nails
And sharp stones
That could possibly
Push us to give up on trying to stand up
Dusting ourselves off and trying again