I wake up every morning to a new day
A new day should mean something
It should mean New Beginnings
New opportunities
Another chance to smile
Another shot at happiness

But not for me
A definition of a perfect day for me
Would be one where I did not smile for no reason
And no one tried to make me smile
If I smile it would mean I am happy

For some reason if I smile and show any kind of happiness
My night won’t be pleasing
I know for a fact that if I have a great day
Filled with happiness
I will spend the whole night crying

My past haunts me
It’s full of horror
Having a great day takes me back there

From now on
I will isolate my self
Like someone lost in a foreign country
That will be my happiness