All those years of being loyal and submissive
To a man who only cared about money and himself
To him all that mattered was business and more business
I thought because he beat me he loved me
I’d grown up in a house where I saw my dad beat my mom
To me that was what love meant

I grew up believing that my boyfriend only loved me if he beat me
But last night he came home
He was angry
He was going crazy
He scolded me because he found me still cooking
Cooking our evening meal
When I tried to explain he beat me
He almost beat me to death
I could smell and taste my own blood
He left me there on that cold floor
In pain

I tried my best
I tried pulling myself to that door
I stumbled outside
The night breeze cold on my hurting body
As it touched my wounds they screamed with pain

Then today he shows up after years
Claiming he is a changed man
To him all that pain
All that suffering
To him all that had happened was just a mistake
Because of him these nightmares haunt me
Because of him I’ve started consuming alcohol
In order for me to get some sleep
Because of him I walk around with a gun for my safety
But he’s forgotten
He’s forgotten all those things he had done to me
But I will never forget what he did to me
The pain he caused me
The soul he has broken