Does my body count really count?
Why am I expected to be a certain way?
Why am I governed by feeble societal fables that aim to box me in?
What if I don’t desire to get married?
What if being loved and validated by men lies not in my character?
What if my worth, as a woman, is not dictated by you?
Will I be less worthy?
Will I even be tolerated?
I used to be so afraid of intimacy, thinking my value would depreciate
Based on the number of sexual partners I’ve had
But what am I, an asset? Yes, probably, but who decides?
I would feel so ashamed when people discovered I had slept with a guy,
Scared to show my face, all my confidence in shackles.
I would feel unworthy of any good guy
Thinking they deserved better than me and all the things I’ve done.
But I was fooled, we all were, and most people still are.
A woman’s worth isn’t what you’re told,
A woman’s worth isn’t defined by a man,
A woman’s worth lies not in other people but in herself.
She decides who she is, she wears it like armour.
She’s not defined by her vagina or how wide her legs can spread,
She’s not defined by her past. In fact, to me, she should never be defined.
I came to the realisation that I have so much to offer as a human being,
Not only as a woman. I don’t classify people based on the level of their pockets,
I don’t perceive love as a trade where I have to be paid to stick around,
I don’t believe that people’s value lies in what they have but rather in who they are.
Sex deserves not the pedestal it’s put on, there is so much more to people than that.
There is so much more to me than that.
How do you treat people? How do you respond to the man
Begging for food on the street? How do you respond to people’s pain?
How do you treat those less fortunate than you? See, there is so much more.
Do you want to help? Does seeing someone cry make you sad?
Do you possess people’s pain? Do you try to understand before concluding?
All these qualities but who cares when mass programming has taken over?
What I am trying to say ladies and gentlemen is:
I cannot and will not allow narrow-minded beings
To be the cause of my lack of self-esteem.
I refuse to have any shame in my past sexual partners,
I refuse to be less happy because someone disregards me as worthy.
I will not be told how to be. I will not be told how to feel.
I am not a possession, I am not goods. I am not who you want me to be.
I am me. I am not a fan of labels because labels are primitive.
If it was up to me, I wouldn’t associate with anything,
I would be that one thing that cannot be defined.
I love being there for people, I support the underdog,
I support love but not the one you’ve constructed.
I do not go around looking to be with someone who has what I lack.
I do not want to make myself feel whole by having someone who loves me.
I find it absolutely absurd to ever look at people on the outskirts of their hearts.
I do not search for happiness from anyone, I am more than capable of bringing it to myself.
Poetry makes me happy.
I love doing things no one tells me to like burning the bible, destroying my TV and thinking.
I am more than black, I am more than a woman, I am more than a human being.
I find pleasure in spirituality, I find joy in the unknown.
Who I am cannot be merely decided by anyone, my value cannot be decided by anyone.
Look into my eyes; I am a black woman living in modern colonisation,
Categorised by hair and body structure. I cannot possibly belong in this insanity.
I am who I say I am.
You don’t have a say.
I am worthy because I say I am.
If I wake up tomorrow and feel like being nature then so shall it be.
I am nature because I say I am.
So sex. You bash on me for sex, you label me trash because of sex.
I am damaged goods because of sex. For sex?
A woman’s worth is not up for debate.
My worth, her worth, their worth, you don’t have a say, mister.
But honestly girls, I am amazing and so are you.
Fuck anyone who tells you otherwise.