A poet’s suicide

I hate days like this,
Dull and silent days.
The silence ignites my mind.
In days like this I relive every mistake I’ve ever made,
Every pain I’ve ever suffered.
Every thought drives me further and further into the darkness.
I find myself with a gun in my hand, aimed straight at my head.
I shut my eyes for the last time as I hope that those who cared about me shed little tears.
Life broke me,
I blame no one but the unfortunate incidents that have plagued my life.
I’m a shell of my former self,
I used to hide my pain,
Now my face shows no emotion.
I say every word with the same expression.

***

FunDza is very concerned for the safety of all our readers and writers. If you can relate to this poem, please don’t hesitate to reach out to people when you feel this desperate. LifeLine has a free number you can call to speak to someone who understands: call 0861 322 322 or 021 461 1111. The pain doesn’t have to last forever, you can get help.

6 Responses

Last four lines hitted me hard cause I used to be like that😭😭😭😭😭

Cypour01 · 3 years ago

Great poem

zakanne · 4 years ago

Every problem has a solution.Above all,a good poem 🖤🖤

Dephney25 · 4 years ago

Wonderful

Queen Cinder · 4 years ago

Well done to the Fundza team for that useful information at the end of a very dark poem. The reality is we reach out and cry for help different ways, and writing can be a particularly lonely process. To the author: Use your writing as a form of therapy. Write down the things that hurt you, or weigh heavily on your heart, and then perhaps burn them and say a little prayer as a way of letting go. Thank you for being brave enough to write about an important aspect of writing.

From The Tree Tops · 4 years ago

Great

Ngwalisa · 5 years ago

A poet's suicide