(Muzi and Sihle are seated at a café enjoying their lunch)

Sihle: What a lovely day! It was going to be a waste to spend it indoors.

Muzi: Yeah, not for some of us.

Sihle: We all have problems man, but let’s forget about them for a minute.

Muzi: Well, mine is a bit bigger than yours.

Sihle: How so?

Muzi: It doesn’t matter. Anyway, where are you going for your internship next year?

Sihle: I haven’t thought about it. Man, freedom is too much!

Muzi: You prefer being forced?

Sihle: Yes, if I have to make the decision for myself, I always take the wrong one.

Muzi: You would be the perfect son for my parents. Can’t we swop?

Sihle: You’re insane, Dr Luthuli!

Muzi: Not yet, give me five more months then I will be.

Sihle: You’re a doctor. I know you like it when I use the title.

Muzi: Because I have a reason to. Anyway, what are your plans for the summer?

Sihle: I don’t know, party throughout the season?

Muzi: You haven’t changed a bit. Haven’t they taught you anything at engineering college?

Sihle: I am offended! (raising up his hands)

Muzi: You’ll never change!

Sihle: That’s a good thing though.

Muzi: You’re growing up buddy. You’ll have to start a family soon.

Sihle: There is no rush there. And, let’s not talk about marriage.

Muzi: Why?

Sihle: My parents talked to me about ‘settling down’ last night.

Muzi: I know exactly what you’re on. I know.

(Silence)

Sihle: Hey, what’s bugging you? Clearly there is something up with you.

Muzi: I am okay, just stressed.

Sihle: By what? You know that I am here if you want to talk.

Muzi: Thanks for the offer, but I’ll pass.

Sihle: That’s not an option. Come on, talk to me. It’s been long since you’ve confided in me.

Muzi: We’re miles apart. I’ve got new friends to confide in. I am sure you do too. It’s been six years of schooling.

Sihle: I know, I know. Are you getting married and you want to ask me to be your best man?

Muzi: How do you know?

Sihle: I don’t, but when I talked about marriage you became silent. Am I right about you getting married?

Muzi: Not really.

Sihle: I don’t understand.

Muzi: How do I break this down for you? Okay, my parents have chosen a bride for me. They said we’re getting married three months from now.

Sihle: And? Aren’t you supposed to be excited and jumping around like a kid?

Muzi: I don’t want to do something I dislike in order to please my parents.

Sihle: I hear you, but who is the girl?

Muzi: Rendaan.

Sihle: Rendaan Habib? The doctor in the making, like you?

Muzi: Unfortunately, yes.

Sihle: Oh my! You must be bluffing! Why aren’t you happy then?

Muzi: I don’t love her. I never did.

Sihle: But she does.

Muzi: How do you know that?

Sihle: Come on now, be real. When we were growing up, you were her favourite. She shared her lunch box with you through primary school. Remember when you were caught in her room? She covered for you and said she’d invited you over. She used to write letters to you, claiming her love for you.

Muzi: Puberty was hitting her hard. You can’t claim that was love.

Sihle: What is she saying in all this then?

Muzi: She’s fine with it.

Sihle: What could that mean?

Muzi: I don’t know. I can’t read people’s minds.

Sihle: You might never get someone as good as her. You’ll be left licking your fingers.

Muzi: What’s your point Sihle?

Sihle: All I’m saying is: consider it. It might not be as bad as you think.

Muzi: No man. I can’t. There is someone I love at university. I promised myself that I’ll start a family with her. We love each other.

Sihle: When? Where is she? And why don’t you tell your parents about her?

Muzi: She stays in Cuba. Her parents moved there.

Sihle: Lost love.

Muzi: Yes.

Sihle: So, how will you convince your parents to call the wedding off? Three months is like three weeks.

Muzi: Well, I’ll need you to do that. Please say yes.

Sihle: Say yes to what?

Muzi: It’s not your comfort zone, but I need you now, more than ever.

Sihle: What is it?

Muzi: This might break our friendship.

Sihle: What could it be?

Muzi: I am even afraid to ask you this face to face. I should’ve texted you.

Sihle: It’s a pity that I am in front of you. So, spill it, doctor.

Muzi: You have no idea how hard it was for me to come up with this. It’s crazy.

Sihle: Try me.

Muzi: Man, man, man. I am breaking.

Sihle: Muzi! Talk.

Muzi: You know that I value our friendship, right?

Sihle: Yes!

Muzi: And you do know that I wouldn’t do anything to hurt anyone, right?

Sihle: Where is this going?

Muzi: Somewhere, maybe at the edge of the cliff.

Sihle: Please don’t talk about cliffs. I hate cliffs.

Muzi: I am afraid that’s where I am standing as I am about to ask you this.

Sihle: Okay, but still, I despise them.

Muzi: Why?

Sihle: Don’t you dare do that to me.

Muzi: What?

Sihle: Change the topic. You were about to ask me something.

Muzi: What’s the use because you’ll say no?

Sihle: Can you talk already?

Muzi: Okay, okay. I was going to ask you to be my boyfriend.

Sihle: What!?

Muzi: See, I told you you’d be like this! All you have to do is to pretend to be one. No one will know.

Sihle: Why do I have to be your boyfriend?

Muzi: You’ll be acting like one. It won’t be an actual thing. Once my parents find out, they’ll call off the wedding in fear of being embarrassed by me in public.

Sihle: This is all mixed up! I’m not going to be part of it. I am sorry.

Muzi: Please, help me out.

Sihle: What do you think I am? A guy who bails out other guys through pretence? Once your folks find out, I’m as good as dead.

Muzi: You’ll stay far from them. This is the only opportunity I have to make them give up the idea.

Sihle: I can’t! No ways.

Muzi: How do you think I feel about you letting me down?

Sihle: You said yourself that I was going to reject your request. You shouldn’t be surprised.

Muzi: Please reconsider it. Please?

Sihle: I’m sorry to break your heart, but there is no way on earth I’d agree to that.

Muzi: My heart’s already breaking. Go on, twist the knife.

Sihle: I have to go.

Muzi: All I am asking is for you to consider it. Promise me you’ll do that, even if you’re not.

Sihle: What will be the use of that?

Muzi: My heart will be at ease.

Sihle: I should be going.

Muzi: Just promise you will think about thinking about it. Please.

Sihle: Okay, I’ll ‘think about thinking about it’. You’ll settle…

Muzi: The bill, yes.

Sihle: Thanks.

(Sihle leaves)

***

Tell us: Do you think this pretence is going to work? Isn’t it dangerous to make out that you are something you’re not?