(The setting is the offices of The Danville Times – a newspaper company. Niall walks into the editor’s office.)

Niall: Good morning, Mr Edwards.

Mr Edwards: Good morning to you too, young lad.

Niall: I heard that you called for me?

Mr Edwards: You don’t waste time, do you?

Niall: Well, yes, or else I find myself crossing boundaries.

Mr Edwards: Humour me.

Niall: My humour is dry, verbally, I’m afraid.

Mr Edwards: You’re promising, son. Keep that up and you’ll soon be the imminent editor, like yours truly.

Niall: Thank you, sir. I need a lot of luck, compliments and wise words to make it in this industry.

Mr Edwards: No! Nonsense! You need to follow your heart and leave what they taught you at college. This is the world, your oyster.

Niall: I am making a mental note of that.

Mr Edwards: Good boy! So, how do you like it so far?

Niall: I can’t complain. It’s overwhelming, sure, but nobody told me it would be a walk in a fresh and green meadow.

Mr Edwards: Now you’re talking like a reporter! Between you and me, all the other staff members you see here walking up and down as if they own the building – they all had mental breakdowns during their internships. I was supposed to take it easy on them, or so I was advised, but tell me, how should I go easy on my staff when people are waiting to read the news every day?

Niall: You have no choice but to push them to deliver.

Mr Edwards: Exactly! But I’m made out to be the bad guy for doing my work. Do you know what I keep telling myself?

Niall: No, sir.

Mr Edwards: They’ll never understand until they’re in my shoes.

Niall: I’m sure that deep down in their hearts, they know you’re doing it for the love of your job. They’re just complaining because they think it’s their right to do so.

Mr Edwards: I know, I know. You’re unique though. After all the pressure I’ve put you through since you registered as a member of The Danville Times, you seem to be impervious. I like that.

Niall: Thank you, sir. It really means a lot coming from you.

Mr Edwards: Don’t mention it. Today is your lucky day, potential lad!

Niall: I don’t quite follow, Mr Edwards?

Mr Edwards: You have only one task.

Niall: Which is?

Mr Edwards: I’m going to ask you to collect a document from Massive Management Enterprise. That document is very vital. I trust you won’t lose it on your way. We need the figures in that document to publish a story with facts.

Niall: I won’t lose it, sir. You have my word.

Mr Edwards: Don’t be so serious. It’s not a secret document. We’re not a spy business.

Niall: That isn’t what I was thinking, sir.

Mr Edwards: Good! Now, get out of my office and go and get that document. You’ll come back with it and leave it with anyone in the printing department.

Niall: Understood.

(Niall walks out of Mr Edwards’ office.)

Niall: Hey Steve, I’m going out. Care to tag along, since you’re doing nothing other than doodling in your notebook?

Steve: No thanks. I’ll stay. I have a deadline.

Niall: Come on, I know you don’t. You’re drawing!

Steve: Because I’m a graphic designer! I have a deadline to meet. Now, off you go, young man.

Niall: I’m only a year younger than you!

Steve: You’re really, really disrupting me. You won’t be around to be my armour when I have to face the board for not finishing these graphics on time. Leave, Niall, leave!

Niall: OK, OK! See you later, or tomorrow.

(Steve waves his hand goodbye. Niall walks out of the building. He gets into his car and starts it. He drives to Massive Management Enterprise. He gets out of the car and walks into the big building.)

Niall: Good morning, Miss.

Regan: Good morning. How can I help you, Mr…?

Niall: Niall Smith.

Regan: Mr Smith.

Niall: I’m from The Danville Times. I was told to represent myself to Mr Fords, the CEO. The correspondence was made by Mr Edwards, the Editor of The Danville Times.

Regan: (Searching for the information on her computer) Let me check. OK, you can proceed to office 182, on your left. You’ll see the CEO print on the door, thank you.

Niall: No, thank you!

(Niall walks over to office 182. He knocks on the door.)

Mr Fords: Come in!

(Niall enters the office and spots a familiar face: Ryan, who is wearing a suit. Ryan smiles. The two of them exchange quick but warm glances.)

Mr Fords: Oh, it’s you! I’ve been waiting for you the whole morning. My daughters love pink, so make those additional ice creams pink please. If you go down to the receptionist she’ll be able to give you what I had asked you to deliver to their kindergarten. It’s their birthday today!

Ryan: (Nodding and smiling) Yep!

Niall: I’m sorry, sir, but I think you must be mistaken, because…

Mr Fords: Hurry! I want you to get to them before they think Daddy forgot their birthday.

Niall: Mr Fords, I think you’re mistaken. You see, I’m…

Mr Fords: You’re still here and back chatting?

Ryan: Mr Fords, please give him a chance to speak.

Mr Fords: Okay, spit it out.

Niall: (Facing Ryan) Thank you.

Ryan: (Whispering with a goofy smile) You’re welcome.

Niall: My name is Niall Smith, from The Danville Times. I’ve come on behalf of Mr Edwards. He sent for me to collect the document from you, Mr CEO.

Mr Fords: Oh! I completely forgot about that. Ryan, give him that file. I’m going out.

Ryan: What about our discussion, sir?

Mr Fords: We’ll resume it when I return. My daughters’ special day has to be special.

Ryan: That’s called negligence, Mr Fords.

Mr Fords: You’re right. File a case against your CEO then. See you later, smart guy.

(Mr Fords leaves the office.)

Ryan: Good morning, Mr Smith.

Niall: Good morning to you too, Mr Jacobs.

Ryan: Are you playing along?

Niall: Yeah. Why not?

Ryan: Don’t take this the wrong way, but you don’t look like the kind of guy who can be formal.

Niall: So I’ve been told.

(There is a moment of silence.)

Niall: The file?

Ryan: Oh, the file!

(Ryan clicks his fingers, takes the file and hands it to Niall. He holds on to it, refusing to let go.)

Niall: (Clearing his throat) If you don’t mind, I need to get back to the office.

Ryan: I know. I know. I know. Believe me, I know. Oh yes, yes I do.

(Ryan stretches his hand out and brushes it against Niall’s.)

Niall: What are you doing? I hate what I think you’re doing. No judgement!

Ryan: You would have pulled away already if you hated it, but you don’t seem to have done that.

Niall: Can I have the file, please?

Ryan: Not until you agree for me to be your chauffeur back to your office.

Niall: I’m old enough to drive myself.

Ryan: I know, but I’m afraid you won’t be vigilant.

Niall: Why do you say that?

Ryan: Because you’ll be thinking about what’s just happened between us.

Niall: Are you…

Ryan: Flirting with you? Yes. I am.

Niall: That’s not what I was going to ask. Why are you flirting with me?

Ryan: I’m not flirting with you. I’m being nice. If you had given me a minute the first time I saw you, I wouldn’t be in this situation.

Niall: You are aware that I’m a guy, that I have a girlfriend and that I don’t have even an ounce of feelings for you?

Ryan: Whooooah! Nobody talked about feelings. You’re jumping hoops, buddy. Just steady yourself!

Niall: I was doing you a favour. I don’t like you one bit.

Ryan: And yet when you stepped in that door the little man between your thighs was restless, and now that it’s just the two of us in the office and our hands brushed, you have a boner.

Niall: (Covering his genitals) What? No! It’s a reflex phenomenon.

Ryan: We’re both adults. I don’t see why you need to lie. I can see it in your eyes. The feeling is mutual. You feel what I feel, and yet you’re shrugging off that feeling. Believe me, it’s useless.

Niall: Can I go now?

Ryan: Not until you give me your consent.

Niall: For what?

Ryan: I offered to be your personal chauffeur. I want to escort or rather drive you back to your office.

Niall: You owe me nothing. I can drive myself, thank you. You still have to do your daily work here.

Ryan: I’m just an intern. And now that Mr Fords is out, I can do as I please. I owe it to you.

Niall: No, you don’t owe me anything.

Ryan: I owe it to you, and you owe it to me too.

Niall: That makes us even then. We no longer owe each other.

Ryan: You don’t settle a debt with a debt.

Niall: What exactly are you hoping to gain by driving me back to work?

Ryan: The softest spot in your heart that I can call home.

Niall: You’re daydreaming. It’s time for you to wake up.

Ryan: I like like you.

Niall: Like like me? What do you mean?

Ryan: I mean: I like like you.

Niall: You’re not only wasting your breath and time, but mine too.

Ryan: For you, I don’t mind.

Niall: I’m sure there’s a girl out there, waiting for you to say a word, just one word, so that they can date you. Have you considered that?

Ryan: I don’t want any girl. I want you. I don’t know you well, but I sure am determined to get to know you better.

Niall: Look, I’m not into that conspiracy. I’m straight.

Ryan: Keep telling yourself that, not me.

Niall: I should get going. Please, hand me the file.

Ryan: You don’t want to go. If I don’t get an answer from you, I’ll continue to pester you for a long time.

Niall: I really should be leaving.

(The door springs open and Mr Fords walks in.)

Mr Fords: You’re still here?

Niall: I was just leaving.

Mr Fords: And then? Why do your cheeks look like a ripe tomato?

Niall: It’s hot in here.

Mr Fords: Have you two been…?

Niall and Ryan: No!

Ryan: No, sir. We were just correcting a few things. It turns out that Mr Smith here is quite an expert at auditing.

Mr Fords: Yeah right! So auditing involves red cheeks?

Niall: Thank you for the file.

(Niall rushes out of the office and building. Ryan and Mr Fords look at each other.)

Mr Fords: Not in my office, Ryan.

***

Tell us what you think: Do you think Niall likes Ryan back? Is he just lying to himself? Or has Ryan completely misread Niall?