When I became a man I put away childish things, but before I became a man I didn’t fit the shoes of a king. I was a child trying to find his rail the toys I played with kept my eyes occupied and put my mind at ease. I was locked in a dark room. I was a ship on a sail with no destination. My body absorbed anger, constantly.
Anger became my shadow. It followed me wherever I went. Wherever I went the dark cloud was right behind me. I was told that I could be anything I want to be, so I became a human bulldozer. When I go to the light everything becomes dark. I see the light in their eyes, they are smiling and laughing yet I am stone cold. I felt defeated.
I was from a hood called “wish a niggar worse” if you disobey my orders you’d wish you never met me. I used to turn my friends into prisoners. But time and circumstances changed, that’s when I became a man.
It was never too late for me to change. The first step is always the hardest, although I made a promise to myself that I would change. Yes, change! I needed to update the software to the modern version, a new and improved me. That was the change I made.
No one forced me to do it, no one but me. No one can persuade another to change. Each of us guards the gate of change that can be opened from the inside. No one can open the gate of another, either by arguments or emotional appeal. I had to unlock the door to set myself free.
Tick! Tock! Tick! Tock in the matter of time change became visible. Rome was not build in one day. I turned myself into a candle that burns itself, but gives light to others. Pen is mightier than the sword. Words and communication have a greater effect than war and fighting I learn everything that is good in others and brought it to myself, absorbed it in my own way so that I do not become them.
Holding on to hate or anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else. You are the one who gets burned. I have gotten myself into so many trouble in the past. I did so many wrong things in my life, things am sorry for. I am sorry to say sorry because the word “sorry” forces me to be sorry. Let God deal with things I have done because hate in your heart will consume you too. I was not punished for my anger, I was punished by my anger.