I have a childhood friend who never misses my birthday. She always makes sure I get my birthday wish.
I’ve let her down in so many ways, sometimes I wonder what keeps her from not being bothered by me not caring that much about her. We always had ups and downs, we tried to date back at home. It was not that tight love, we always told each other that we loved each other like every couple but that only happened when we saw each other.
Now we are both grown, we both know what we want in life.
We tried to settle things when we were last together. I couldn’t say it didn’t work, maybe my side, but I could see in her eyes she still had the spark for me in her heart.
In that moment I held myself and decided I didn’t want to ruin the moment so I pretended to be OK.
Days and months have passed by. We stopped connecting since I’m no longer staying at home full-time, I’m just going there during holidays or when I’m on leave.
However, that doesn’t change her attitude toward me. She’s always there like my shadow following me wherever I go. Supportive in advance, it’s like whenever I need a shoulder to lean on she’s always there to hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright.
She’s like my guardian angel that I’m not aware of. I sometimes think of her and all the childhood memories we shared together, it always comes to my mind like a time bomb.
I’ve tried to think of all the bad memories of her but I have none. Only the good, loving and caring memories of her.
I’m kind of asking myself, what keeps us from being one?
I remember when I asked her to be the mother of my first child, she refused but what surprised me is she never forgot about that.
She told me that now she thinks she’s ready to have a baby with me. We even planned to start the process as soon as I was back home. But you know that never happened since I never got a chance to go home.
I thought we were done when we stopped talking to each other for a two and a half years.
Surprisingly I received a call from her asking what she did wrong to me. That made me hate her so much I was no longer calling and even blocked her number. I was lost, it’s been years and now she comes back talking like that. A lot has happened during that period, especially on my side.
Lately I sit in the dark wondering what she is to me. When my heart cannot forget her. Even after a long time of not talking to her. But when that feeling comes it feels like I have a knife in my chest.
So I have a question to ask: is this what love feels like? Or is this why they say love is blind?
This girl is something else. When we talk on the phone we never worry about airtime, we just talk for hours laughing and making promises that never come. But that never bores us.
I noticed what we have between us is unconditional since we are so different.
Tell us: When have you experienced unconditional love?