To my almost boyfriend, I misunderstood what we had.

I thought I would never find closure. But I’m glad we had a chance to talk, although it was not what I wanted to hear or hoped for. Today I am forgiving you even though you never ask for my forgiveness. I forgive you for making me feel like I wasn’t good enough for you. I forgive you for breaking my heart.

I’m not angry anymore. I was angry at you because I thought you used me and played me. I was angry at you because I thought you were hurting me deliberately. I was angry at you because you were not giving me what I wanted. But for the first time in this relationship I allowed myself to cry and it feels better. I’m not angry anymore, I am just hurting because ekugqibeleni ndiyifumene inyani (I finally found the truth). And believe me iyakrakra (it’s a hard pill to swallow.)

I’m glad that you finally told me the truth. Now I know what went wrong. Maybe things would have been different, if I was honest with you from the beginning. I wish I could turn back time, I can’t. But in all of the pain and the hurt, there is growth. I learnt the value of honesty. I learnt not to hold back my feeling and thoughts. I’ve learnt a lot of things. Now I’m stronger and wiser. You are not completely innocent kulento, but I forgive you. I’m sorry that I cannot be with you anymore although I still love you. You and I, we want different things. This is not going to work.

If I hurt you in any way, please forgive me. Forgive me for calling you a selfish person. Forgive me for only putting my feelings first.

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