For all the years you thought you were breaking me, you didn’t realise that you were building me to be a stronger woman. You thought that you were clipping my wings, but look at how high I fly today, with beautiful, bright and strong wings. Nothing can destroy me today. No one can stand to break my spirit because of you. Your hate made me strong. Because of your hate, I don’t wish to come back to you, even when times are hard to bear, I do my best just to survive. Isn’t that what you taught me?

Your words haunt me, nothing hurts more than words. I remember when you told me I was ugly, that I was unlovable, no guy would stoop low enough to love me. Look at me now, God blessed me with true love, the man of my dreams, a man who sees differently from what you saw. He is living proof that I am lovable.

The day you told me I was nothing in this world, that’s when you were wrong. I’m somebody to my kids, they will always remember me as their mom and the best mom ever. The day you called me a mistake…I might have been a mistake to you all those years but a blessing to my children and people who love me.

The day you told me I was black…I wanted to respond and say, “Yes, I’m black, I’m dark skinned, I’m African. I’m proud of my colour unlike you, who calls me black just because you bleached your skin.” But instead, I just looked at you and smiled, because you reminding me that I’m black gave me strength. The “disgrace” you used to call me, today look for your disgrace, it’s an amazing grace to others. The day you switched off the lights, just so that I couldn’t make it…I still made it with or without your lights.

Because of you, I once tried committing suicide, I tried running away, just to be far from you, not even knowing what would happen to me. I remember planning to just find an older guy who would marry me just to be away from you. I almost ruined my life because of you.

But one day I told myself, “Girl, wake up, be strong, don’t give up, and don’t give them satisfaction, show them what you’re made of.” From that day, I just let you do whatever you wanted, emotionally I was done. I made sure it was the last time you saw my tears or smile. The last time you intimidated me. From that day I never feared you any more. For every bad thing you wished for me, I always win because I learnt to never let your words get to me.

All I wanted from you was for you to love me. Since you failed to do that, I decided to love you more. Nothing surpasses love in this world. Today those you love, they hurt you every day, you can’t even get peace of mind because of them. When you talked, I obeyed, when you said jump, I didn’t even care how much or high you wanted me to jump, I just kept jumping as high as I could.

I loved you so much, even if you had asked for my life, I would have laid my life down for you, that is how much I loved and valued you. I hope one day you will know that with all my flaws I’m still the best person you could ever have.

May you live long, so you can see my success. Through your hate, I truly found peace of mind.


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