It is a chilly night and I am lying on my bed thinking about the words I never said to her. The love I failed to show her. And the trust I never seemed to appreciate.

I am having flashbacks of the times we spent together. How solid our love was, how we believed nothing could break our bond. She sacrificed a lot including her dignity to make me the happiest man in the universe. Nevertheless, I made her shed tears more than I could make her smile. My immature actions made her doubt the authenticity of my proclaimed undying love.

She could have left me sooner yet she decided to stick with me despite my flaws. However, it wasn’t too long before she made a clean break. She couldn’t stand me anymore.

I still remember the look on her face the last time we kissed. It’s like I knew it was the last day she belonged to me; she would be someone else’s. The way she looked and smiled at me that day was different from the other days. To add on my concern, she was rather too quiet and her eyes spoke a language that I couldn’t understand. I never bothered to ask what they meant. Maybe she did not want to say it in words that she had no more tears to spill because of me.

I was heartbroken when she finally left me. I missed her so much and I tried my best to win her back but all my attempts failed. I spent hours each day stalking her Twitter account. She looked too happy without me on her tweets. She had made it clear that I did not have a place in her heart anymore.

I was angry at myself and sad that I no longer had the power to melt her. I had other lovers after she broke up with me but it took me time to find someone who could fill the vacuum that she left in my heart.

Today we coincidentally met again after a long time. I did not feel the urge I thought I would feel when I saw her. She looked different from the woman I fell in love with. I reached out my hand and she shook it nervously. She couldn’t look me in the eye. I had so much to say to her but I could not. The words wouldn’t have come out the way I would have wanted them to. I felt guilty for getting satisfaction from seeing her feeling low. Love had not been fair on her.

I wish I could have told her that I was sorry for all the times I made her cry. I was too naïve and stupid. I am grateful for the beautiful memories that she had left me with. She must not be afraid to dive deep in love again because not every man will treat her the same way I did.

I still care about her and I want her to be happy. Had I not fallen in love with her I would not have been the mature caring lover that I am to my current girlfriend. She taught me how to love.


Tell us: Do you have an ex that you hurt? What would you say to them if you had a chance?