As a child I believed everything my father said, even the most unbelievable of things, because he was my father. I obeyed his every command the way the bible had told me to. But as I grew up I began to see things differently and started questioning his judgement and denying his requests.

At the age of 10 I wanted a bicycle. I asked my dad if I could get one and his response was, “Don’t worry, focus on your studies and you will get it.” With so much joy and ambition to do extremely well, I would keep studying. I was placed second in my class and thought this was it, I will have my request granted. He failed to even turn up for the ceremony. I had to understand that he worked for us and he was the reason that I am so privileged.

I started blocking out the thoughts of having requests so that I wouldn’t be disappointed; I guess I had to grow up fast. He would tell me, “Son the day you are controlled by a woman, is the day I wish for you to join me in my grave.” Over time, our conversations started becoming less and less.

I started seeing that my mom was not happy. I overheard her saying, “I keep up with the heart ache of marriage, not because I can’t escape, but because I have children to raise.” I was still in my early teens and could not understand any of their problems. Basketball was my escape, and after hearing what my mom said I went to practice so that I could forget about these things. I hardly saw my parents. I grew up under the impression that everything was exactly how it should be.

As a grown teen I started seeing exactly what was happening and began accepting the disappointment. My father is probably one of the richest minds I have ever had the honour of being around, but we had a lot of differences that pulled us apart. He believed in lots of things that my heart did not agree with. Only one thing drew my close to him and that was the fact that he was my father. His voice, although harsh, made me forget all his misdeeds. When he asked for help, the way he asked made it impossible for me to refuse him.

One day I came to learn that he had gotten married to another woman. I was absolutely heart broken. “How does a woman of 40 years deserve this?” I asked myself, thinking of my mom.

“Your mother is crazy, she doesn’t know how to be sociable, and I can’t be around someone who does not make my life easier,” he responded, as if he could read my thoughts.

“So she kept up with you for that long and you only notice this now?” I said, chuckling as I sipped on my juice.

I could never understand the mind of that man; so many empty promises. Now that I’m grown, I can work to afford all his empty promises which I don’t really want anymore. I concluded that I will only really understand one day when I build my own home. My father once said, “You’ll understand one day when you have a wife and children.”

I guess I learnt how to be a better person in reverse, for my father is just a misunderstanding that cannot be explained.