Tired of fake smiles and pretending like I’m OK in front of people, whereas the pain is hitting me so hard inside. I have been quiet for so long, hoping that things will change. But it seems like as I grow up, the pain also grows strong. Everything comes back now; the death of my mother, being abandoned by my father and the suffering I’m experiencing around my family. Nothing seems to work for me; it’s like the pain is following me wherever I go. If I laugh, it’s for two minutes but when I cry it’s for a week. How long is this going to keep on happening? How long will it take for the pain to go away? Only God knows I guess.

So it was July, the cold month, the fever month. My mother and her friends had planned to go out for Ladies Night. She was so beautiful. I remember she put on that long white dress with her red and gold heels. Everything was perfect about her; she was like an angel. If she knew that this was her last night, she wouldn’t have gone and leave me alone in this big and cruel world.

4 a.m. I was not yet asleep; I was waiting for Mama to come back. I waited and waited until the sun came. She didn’t come back. Around 8 a.m. I heard a knock. I was so happy I thought it was her. I jumped to the door. When I opened I saw two men in blue uniforms. OMG! Cops!

What has she done? Is she arrested? I was asking myself.

They told my grandmother that my mother was no more. She was shot by a gun around 3 a.m. I couldn’t move my legs; they just locked themselves. I felt the pain of being shot in me. Oh, what a cruel world we live in. My mother is gone forever.


Tell us what you think: Have you lost a loved one? How did you cope with it?