Me and my two younger brothers were playing outside the house around 10:30am on our usual spot. I wasn’t feeling really well that day; it was like I was carrying a burden on my shoulders. The weather was clear and little bit windy. I left my brothers there to play as I went inside the house to take a nap. I was young, grade 3 in 2005, my brother was only 4 at the time. My other brother is not like my biological brother, his mother and my mother were sisters.

I was so stressed and heartbroken because my mom was sick and was in hospital. I couldn’t sleep or eat and nobody noticed that I was in pain because we were living with my great-grandma who was too old to give us attention.

I remember that day like it was yesterday. I thought I was dreaming hearing a woman crying at our neighbour’s house where my great-grandma went to for Thursday woman’s church. In my deep sleep I heard a woman crying loud, the scream woke me. I went out fast to check if my brothers were still there. I found them in the same spot standing and listening to a screaming woman with their eyes wide open.

I told them to get inside the house. I tried to get closer to our neighbour’s house only to find out that my great-grandma was crying. I stood there wondering why she was crying. Elders were holding her to take her back home.

“Why is grandma crying?” I asked but no one answered me.

I went inside the house with them so I could hear what was happening with my great-grandma. Someone was rubbing her back telling her that God gives and takes. I sat there wondering what she meant by that.

Two other women were whispering, “Tell the kids.”

“No not now,” answered the other woman. They were talking like we were not there.

They came close to me and told me that my mom was gone, she was in heaven now.
I lost the peace that day; I haven’t found it yet and I don’t think I’ll ever find it.


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